Dating and Valentine's Day Anticipation

On Tuesday at school I got around 3 missed calls from my cousin. When I got out and called him back he told me to meet him as soon as possible and that it was really urgent. So, we met at one of the cafes at school. I was pretty worried, I thought something bad had happened. When he got there, we went through the ususal pleasantries, "How's your mom, how's home?" etc etc, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, "Get to the emergency already!!!" Finally I couldn't take it and I asked him, "O.k, so what's up"

"I have a wife." Now, wife in some Nairobi men's context , means a long-term girlfriend, hehe, but dare a chic say, "I have a husband", you'll be left with a cloud of dust in your face and wind blowing through your hair from the guy running away.... lol, anyway, I digress, let's go on.

"I have a wife, and valentines day is coming up and I want to get her jewelery, something really nice, that's why I need a female opinion from you. If you could go shop for me and tell me how much I need that would be nice" he said. You know a guy is in love when he's thinking about Valentine's Day in January!!!

Photo Credit: photouten

So, here I am, single girl. Knowing I will still be single by Valentines, and this guy wants me to go look for jewelery that I like, that I know no one will be buying for me, so that he can buy them for his girlfriend. I'm really starting to think God is rubbing this whole "being single" thing in my face a little bit too much. First, my very-much-in-love best friend, then seating me alone in-between those two very-much-in-love couples in Church, then me parking my car next to that very-much-in-love guy who opened the door for his girl that other time, then now my very-much-in-love cousin. I can't stop laughing this is just so funny :-D

Of course I agreed and went shopping for my cousin. I told him where to find good deals, I even gave him different price ranges, from the Somali guys who sell (quite like 95%) real silver in Eastleigh, to the nice pieces at Hilton Arcade and Nakumatt Lifestyle to the very nice pieces at Enkarasha (is enka rasha 2 words or one...anyway...) Then I told him, making the girl feel special all day, will make a much greater memory than just a piece of jewelery, so I told him to do all those things Nairobi girls no longer experience, going to the movies, going to lunch some place where it's not just chips and chicken on the menu, and nothing beats black forest cake and ice cream on valentines. I'm really happy for him and I hope he follows my tips :-) 

Photo Credit: Louisa Stokes

Now, shopping for this other girl, I got to thinking...what would I want for Valentines? Or rather dating in general. I'm a pretty simple girl, I like anything, that is except mint chocolate and vanilla ice cream. But, I'm simple in the sense that, I'd far more appreciate a gift that looks like a little thought was put into it, like if you buy a card, don't just pick anything with a heart on it, the message should be cute, and/or maybe a little note in there from the guy as well. Tip to guys: in a card don't just fill in the "To and From" part otherwise that thing will end up in the trash after a few weeks, so put in something the girl would want to hold on to. I still have a birthday card from a guy who liked me and even though we don't talk anymore, I still smile when I look at what he wrote.

Photo Credit: Image Housing

Also, I'm a big fan of jewelery. But in that case, presentation is key. I once got really gorgeous earrings from a friend of mine that came in a gorgeous red velvet box, and I love looking at that box...I mean I love the earrings too but they look so pretty in that box! :-) 

Most people don't like flowers because they don't last long or whatever, but for me, you could never go wrong with flowers, the couple of  times my friends have gotten me flowers I always felt amazing, even the single roses we're given at church for Christmas or Valentines they always last with me, till Tuesday because I get home and put them in water. I love flowers, I just think it's a nice gesture. And the pink girl in me is always touched :-)

The experience of the day though, is what counts most for me. Was I happy? Was he happy or did he spend the whole time complaining? I once had this boyfriend who took me out a few times, and he complained all the time, that one didn't last very long. Other things I'll ask myself are, if the experience we had was new, will I remember it a long time to come or was it just the same old routine? Here I mean, for example, if you're going out for pizza, it's not just Pizza Inn that serves pizza in Nairobi, there are a bunch of other new places to go, for the same price. Personally, I think I'm starting to be one of those girls/women who can enjoy going to those nyama choma (grilled meat) and one-man guitar kind of places and have more fun than I would at a burger joint or a pizza place. Or doing something touristy that other people might consider shady like going to the National Park. I've suggested that to a couple of guys I dated and they always laugh, so to heck with it, I'm taking myself!! :-)
I would much rather go on an active date like that or horse riding (which by the way only costs Ksh. 500) or going to Fourteen Falls or swimming or bike riding or paint ball or anything like that, if worse comes to worse, even walking in Uhuru Park, rather than sitting in a restaurant in town all day. I'm all for "gazing into each others' eyes" but after a while, won't you get bored with each other???

Photo Credit: Tom Curtis

But, to keep it simple, any acts of love and care and a little bit of understanding of my personality, that would do it for me.

Anyway, that's just me. I'm sure you guys have your preferences too?