Passion Dies When...

Every week, I listen to a couple Church's podcasts and I thought it would be fun to add those here on All Things Good, because, trust me, they are good. Steven Furtick is one of my favorite preachers. Elevation is currently on a sermon series dubbed, "Meant to Be" and this is the third sermon of the series.

For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health . . . These are the vows we take when we get married - but in our current culture we don't always understand the depth of the covenant we're making. In marriage, two are supposed to become one. So why do so many couples struggle with staying together? In part 3 of our series Meant To Be, Pastor Steven explains four ways our life-long relationships are challenged - and shows us how building an anointed marriage begins with the debt-canceling grace of Jesus.

 
Main Points
Passion dies when:
1. Celebration becomes Frustration
2. "We" becomes "Me"
3. Debtors become Collectors (Matthew 18:20-29, once you have a payback mentality, it's very hard to get out of it. Maybe the guy hadn't fully accepted the grace He just received and was trying to still pay him back. If you insist on living under the system of payback, you'll always be paying back.)
4. Covenant becomes Contract

Endless Ocean by Jonathan David Helser

In the beginning

You were singing

In the end you will still be

Singing over me

In this moment

You're right beside me

Everywhere you're in the air that I breathe

You are an endless ocean, bottom less sea

You are an endless ocean, bottom less sea

In my sin

You kept loving

Theres no end to your forgiveness and mercy

Every morning 

You keep coming

The waves of your affection

They keep washing over me

You are an endless ocean, bottom less sea

You are an endless ocean, bottom less sea

Al those angels

They are swimming in this ocean and they still can find no shore

Day and night night and day they keep seeing new sides of your face

You are an endless ocean, bottom less sea

You are an endless ocean, bottom less sea 

Oooh, ooh, oooh, oooh

There's no end to the affection you have for me

There's no end to the affection you have for me

Learning How to Flirt Again

We interrupt the Italy updates to talk about my favorite topic...LOVE!

I'm still on my journey in finding love, my love, the love of my life. I've gotta say, it's getting harder the closer it feels. God speaks to me really clearly in this particular area, I think because I'm especially keen to listen :-) and I truly, wholeheartedly believe it's happening very soon, when this handsome young man finally walks into my life.

So I came across this video on YouTube.

It's really interesting. It talks about how over 40% of Americans over 18 are single and how most of us (still 100% Kenyan, just grouping myself in here for a second) when asked are looking for love, trust & companionship, but always assume that other single people are only looking for sex, money or status. So the guy asks the respondents to take a risk and tell someone that they are attracted to, what qualities they are attracted to. It's pretty sweet actually.

I live in that culture though, here at Bethel, where you affirm people and tell them what qualities they have that stand out. However, I must confess, it's a lot harder when it comes to guys I'm actually attracted to. I don't know why. I guess, I'm still in that school of thought where I like him, but I don't want him to know I like him, so I treat him different from how I treat other guys and I stare secretly but ignore him awkwardly, so in the end he stills knows I like him, except that now he thinks I'm a weirdo and ignores me anyway. Yeah...it's crazy.

This video made me think though.

It's one thing if our eyes meet across a crowded hallway and sparks fly...at this point though, I don't even remember what it looks like when eyes meet and how to give that flirtatious gaze without looking desperate. I used to be an expert! OH, MINISTRY SCHOOL WHAT HAST THOU DONE TO ME!!! Kidding, kidding, relax!

I should end this without making it any more embarrassing. Let's summarize...

1. Take risks
2. Always affirm people because everybody likes to hear how awesome they are
3. Read a book on flirting and remind yourself about how it's done

:-)

What I Learned about Love & Marriage From Samsung

OK, so if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram(!) you know how I got a new phone this past week. First off, my sincere apologies for talking about it SO much, one last time, I promise! But, I've never had a Smartphone before, so I keep telling guys how I feel like I've been living under a rock! I mean, I talk to this phone and it does what I say without complaining. That sounds crazy, but its actually true. (Hello S-Voice).

Anyway, so I've been excited over this phone. I begged my family to buy one for me as a birthday present LAST YEAR of course everyone refused. I mean, until today, my mom goes like, "Remember that time you asked me to buy you that phone? BHAHAHA!"

So, I've worked and saved money for the past 3 months, meaning, no pizza dates, no weekend drives to pick up my friends and go to lunch, no red velvet cake from java, no Steers - oh my gosh why does it sound like all my life seems to revolve around food? OK, no biking trips in Karura Forest (am I redeemed? :-) )

via

Anyway, I've saved up and I researched, oh boy did I research I have like 10 YouTube Videos on "Unboxing & Review" of this phone and that phone. "Comparison between Phone X & Y" etc. I went to the Samsung store every weekend to test these phones I basically knew everything there was to know about them. Everyday as I woke up at 5 a.m and trudged to work, got insulted day in day out by my boss, I stuck it out because I knew, August will be here soon and I'll have enough money to get this phone!

August finally came, but my paycheck came in late. A few weeks later, I got the money, but my debit card expired. So I got a new debit card, but the purchase was over the limit. So, I waited till a couple of days later, got the money, but the Samsung store was closed for renovation. So, I went to another store, they were sold out. I went to another store, they were sold out too. Finally got to a 3rd store and they had it!

via

Oh, sweet joy, they had it! I got it all set up. Got home, played around with it. Went to work the next day, downloaded all the apps, played around with it some more. 3 days later and I'm done. The excitement is virtually gone. I mean, for sure, I absolutely LOVE looking at it, and having it and knowing it's mine and I will protect it with everything. But it's not like I expected, 3 months of work for 3 days of excitement, doesn't seem like a fair trade off.

It got me thinking, love and marriage could end up being the same thing depending on how you are in your single years.

As a Christian, knowing all I know about love because of experiencing it through God every day (Amen?!) and through my friends and through the people I interact with from my new school and having this redeemed life, I get excited thinking about getting married and being in love, if this is what love is like.

via

It's easy to spend a day fantasizing about this future boyfriend/husband etc and how great life would be. Its easy when you're finally dating to be excited about being in love, hoping this is the one and jumping, not necessarily just into physical intimacy, but also into seemingly innocent emotional intimacy, like spending too much time together, saying I love you too quickly, prioritizing them over your own quiet time, not taking time to develop a friendship, etc.

Just like me and my 3 day excitement, we rob ourselves of the fruit of the wait when we spend the wait barely waiting. Living in the fruit of the moment before the actual moment.

Anyway lemme end this long post, I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore :) just food for thought. Have a great weekend everybody!

That One Sunday We Grilled Chicken Mishkakis

That was a fun weekend!

Where It All Began

 

I recently got an offer to do a little writing for a Real Estate Magazine here in Nairobi, and one of my bosses asked me  if I always knew I could write and if this is something I planned etc. Well, not really. In High School, I was that girl who used to stack up like 5 compositions during the weekend and hand them over to my English teacher to grade. I used to journal a lot...A LOT! After High School, I shifted gears to writing poetry and later on music.

So I've always loved to write, but I never 'planned' to go anywhere with it. I don't think I'm that good at it, (grammatical and spelling eras errors galore! lol) However what little I can do, I owe it all to my dad who was a real writer and was very good at it. 

My dad was a journalist and I remember always being so excited to go home and say, "I was the highest in Composition!"

So, yeah. Everything I do, I owe it all to my family. Where I begin is where they begun, and on that note, here's an essay my dad wrote all the way back in High School which won best essay in some competition. He won a hardcover Biology textbook! Ha! Anyway, I love his story. The imagery is great. Hope you enjoy it.

 

 

Where It All Began

 

I recently got an offer to do a little writing for a Real Estate Magazine here in Nairobi, and one of my bosses asked me  if I always knew I could write and if this is something I planned etc. Well, not really. In High School, I was that girl who used to stack up like 5 compositions during the weekend and hand them over to my English teacher to grade. I used to journal a lot...A LOT! After High School, I shifted gears to writing poetry and later on music.

So I've always loved to write, but I never 'planned' to go anywhere with it. I don't think I'm that good at it, (grammatical and spelling eras errors galore! lol) However what little I can do, I owe it all to my dad who was a real writer and was very good at it. 

My dad was a journalist and I remember always being so excited to go home and say, "I was the highest in Composition!"

So, yeah. Everything I do, I owe it all to my family. Where I begin is where they begun, and on that note, here's an essay my dad wrote all the way back in High School which won best essay in some competition. He won a hardcover Biology textbook! Ha! Anyway, I love his story. The imagery is great. Hope you enjoy it.

On Absence and Loving Love...{or not}

I'm sorry I've been a little sketchy on these here parts, I have a couple of stuff going on and that I have to deal with, but I do have a few posts scheduled...we have the Worship posts on Sundays and a few more post  left in the How To Tuesdays series, so you'll still see me pop up here and there.

After next week, I'll be sure to explain everything in greater detail :-)

For now, I've been thinking about love. I've been out of the dating game for a looong time. Like I haven't had a boyfriend for, wow almost more than 3 years a long time now. My entire life I've had 1 serious boyfriend and well, we all know how that ended. I've dated here and there but nothing serious or official. I've always thought that I'm fine with it, at this point in my life, I don't want to date at all and I thought it was because I was taking time out and focusing on myself and all that. To be honest I'm more happy now single than I was going out with all these randoms. My life for the most part is pretty fab. I've finally adopted that Christian mindset my mom has always wanted me to have, of "Isn't dating kinda useless if I'm not ready for marriage? Where am I supposed to take all that passion?"

A couple of days ago though, I saw this post on social media from a girl gushing about her new found romance and I just smirked and rolled my eyes a little bit and I was shocked at myself a little bit because I'm usually the "Yay! Go you!" type. So I realized, "Wow, I might actually have issues with this dating stuff and that's why I'm avoiding it!" 

It wasn't so much a jealousy issue, it was a "no trust issue." Meaning, a part of me doesn't trust men at all. I mean, my past has been in the words of Penny Hart "roof stoof".{rough stuff}

Source: timewastersonline.tumblr.com via Jenn on Pinterest

In fact it's great that I've used Penny as an example because like her, I've gone in time and time again with the best of intentions and come out crushed on the other side and well, getting ready to do that again doesn't exactly feel like a great venture.

I know what you're thinking, what's the Christian thing to do here? I know my heart shouldn't be jaded, and it's not, God gave me a brand new heart and I'm not heartbroken AT ALL, I'm just scared out of my mind when the thought of falling in love or not falling in love pops into my head. In my mind, I'd be married right now. That was my life plan forever to be married by 24, the year I get out of college. I'm about to turn 23 in a couple of weeks, so obviously, that hasn't worked out.

I just don't know if I'm ready to do it. Put my brand new expensive heart out there for anyone to crush it. I've been through it and lemme just say it right now, those first few weeks of ecstasy are absolutely not worth the end result. Everybody around me is raising a baby, married, engaged, co-habitating, seriously dating or wanting to start dating. I.just.can't. Sometimes it works out, case in point my bestie and her boyfriend of 5 years, sometimes it doesn't case in point...do I need to finish that?

I don't know if this means I'm carrying baggage into a relationship because well, I'm not looking for one. I wouldn't even call it baggage, I call it self-preservation. This heart was bought at a price, His blood, and I know how much it took for God to get me to a place where I could love again at all, so putting His healing on the line for a couple of weeks of excitement...?

There are so many cons to giving your heart away. Too many.

The end.

For once I'm not going to try and explain this away or find the silver lining or the inspirational quote to push me out of this. Right now in my life, my heart and mind are just sitting here.

xx
Jo

It’s Okay

I jokingly told my mom how January feels like Monday morning when the alarm rings and you can’t imagine it being the weekend again. I was a little worried with all the demands that would come with this month, figuring out the whole year. Can someone maybe write a self-help book on that?

I’ve spent the last week at my sister’s house babysitting my 2 y/o nephew since my sister was in the hospital delivering my new niece. So the whole week has been changing poopy diapers, running to the potty barely in time to avoid any “wee-wee” incidents, singing the Jake and the Neverland pirates and Spongebob theme songs, trying to make cleaning look fun so the kid would join me when I had to get stuff in order-dishes, floors, tickle fights, cuddles, dancing on the floor and so on and so on. Motherhood is tough; you have to be on 24/7. Everybody dreams of being able to be a stay-at-home mom, but after this week…ummm…:-/

Today’s Saturday and my sister just got back from the hospital, and I’m in the bedroom in a crying mess and blogging. Man, I’m just so emotional. I don’t know if it’s the new baby finally getting home and it hitting me that my nephew isn’t the baby anymore or just relieved that these months have ended so successfully, or what.

Then there’s just all this other stuff going on where, I wanna be the best at everything I do. I want to be the best daughter and save my mom money by finding cheap deals for my tuition/fees. I want to be the best sister and the best aunt to my nephew. I want to be the best girlfriend (whenever God decides to bless this single girl with a good boyfriend), I want to be the best worship leader, I want to be the best friend, I want to be the best Christian, and I want to be the best girl. WTH?! Who can live up to all of that? Yet, when I fail at one of them, I get stressed and emotionally charged.

You know how Oprah and these self-help gurus keep saying, “center yourself”, “find your own space and focus on your mantra”, or, “take time off and recharge” or other such rhetoric, I NEED TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF OF THE SAME THING! 

Hopefully yelling at myself like this will work?

Xx

Jo

Unhappily Ever After?

A couple of things freak me out about relationships:

• Secrets
• Falling “out of love”
• Cheating/Affairs
• Break-ups/Divorce

I mean, for most people, relationships are a major part of life. You’re born into a family, you grow up, you get a job, you start another family – with friends and soon after with a partner and kids, and the cycle continues. At any point of your life, you’re part of a family. Good or bad.

I just read that Deitrick and Damita Haddon just got a divorce. He put this up on his Facebook page::

Deitrick Haddon's Facebook Page

Yes, this isn’t the first high-profile Christian personality divorce. But, this get’s to me because they’re in WorshipL. We’ve seen a bunch of “Christian” divorces. Every single time, the reason is the same;

“I put my ministry before my spouse.”

I feel like this line has been repeated so many times, it’s a little bit of a cliché. We’ll probably never know the real reasons, but whatever they are, the fact is, I don’t get how a couple could have technically done everything we’re advised to do in Church/Christian circles, you know, follow God’s calling on your life, marry a person who loves God like you do, pray together, serve together, and still, they end up in divorce. Or affairs, another Christian artist Da Truth was caught up in an affair last year! Juanita Bynum was apparently abused. Paula White got divorced too.

This just freaks me out! I mean, there are already enough unknowns in the world, after the wedding, the unknowns are supposed to stop! I don’t need to go to bed every night thinking, “Oh my God, what secrets is he hiding? Is he still in love with me? Is he having an affair? Is our marriage alright?”

Also, when you realize your marriage is in trouble, is it that hard to work on in? In my {probably naïve} mind, I’d think that when you realize you put your job before your wife, you’d take a month off and work on your marriage. You’d pray about it, get help, get people to stand with you and pray for you. Is it that prayer isn’t enough?

Like I said, I have no idea - none of us do - what went on inside these marriages, but, I just can’t allow myself to believe that there’s no hope. That after the commitment is made and you hit a rocky patch, the only option is to quit. I can’t believe in a world, in a relationship, in a marriage with no hope. I can’t believe in “till ‘falling out of love’ does us part”.

A lot of people tell me I’m a dreamer. That in reality it all goes downhill after the wedding, and the claws come out. That being “in-love” only exists when you guys are courting. That I’m going to get sick of the dirty stinky socks and underwear everywhere except the hamper. Irritated with the guy coming home late and going out all weekend, squeezing the toothpaste from the middle and leaving the cap off…argh! Frustrated when he just doesn't understand me!!!

Relationships are hard; I personally have no idea how to make them work.

All I know is that in my own life, all I can do is just pray and seek God on how to love. God is love and every part of Him spills out love, and He knows how I need to love whoever I’m with.

I need to seek God on how to commit, how to be honest, how to open my heart, how to handle conflict, not just in a relationship, but in my own life. I need to seek God on how to handle and relate and cope with different personalities while retaining and growing my own. I need to seek God on how to GROW UP!

When you audition for a Choir/Worship Team, let’s say as an alto, after the Worship Pastor hears you sing, he’ll put you in a group with a soprano and a tenor to listen to how well you can maintain your voice in a crowd. You can’t really “fake it till you make it”. A song is going to come up and if you try to sing high, your voice will crack and you aren’t going to make it.

I believe it works the same way in life. You need to seek God to make you who he created “you” to be. This practice of being a different person in different relationships just won’t work. Trust me, been there done that! 

Somewhere out there is someone who can handle the real you. Once you find them, how much easier will it be to put in the work when you aren’t focused on being somebody else? Yeah, it’s work; from day 1 you need to build the right foundation so you’re not in the middle of everything in a couple of years discontent, irritated and stuck, or worse, divorced and heartbroken.

Life is work. Relationships are work. Marriages are work. THAT IS LIFE!

Anyway, like I said, I have no idea AT ALL how to make a relationship work. I have been a big fat failure, but before I jump into another doomed relationship…I’m determined to learn.

xx

Jo 

Fridays Letters 2nd Edition

Hello everybody and welcome to this week's edition of Fridays Letters

Dear ABC Pretty Little Liars,
I await your summer premiere eagerly! I can't wait to see if Alison really does have a twin, and how can I forget, Ezria (Aria+Ezra). Oh and Tobencer (Toby+Spencer)...too much? :-)


Dear New Neighbors,
Please be good neighbors, please don't come with drama and noise. If possible, please have a cute 20-something year old son who I can, you know, exchange ideas with and talk about our two religions (Christian/Muslim) It'll be fun exchanging ideas with a **ahem** cute neighbor once in a while :-)

Dear Steffany Frizzell, 
Please stop making me cry with sweet worship songs like this

P.S, I love this comment someone left: Steffany and Jenn are two of the few true worship leaders that lead by example, most are entertainers. If the song/video were all about her, she would have been staring straight into the camera or at least those who were there. She (as seen in this video) is and example of how we should worship. Forget those around you, it's between you and Him. Close your eyes, forget those around you and give Him all you have to give.

Dear Brother,
Will you please return the car's sub-woofer's, driving is just not the same without my speakers!

Dear Future Hubby,
After we're married, we need to be going camping or do those couples retreats where there are challenges like hiking and whatnot. #bondingexperiences that'll be fun. Hope you'll be up for it. As usual, I'll love you and adore you always!


Dear Bloggers,
Ya'll are awesome, I learn so much from you guys!

Dear Worship Team,
It's been 2 weeks since my audition, still no news. I caved and called up the leaders and they said, relax and not to worry...is that a good sign or a bad sign, like, "relax, just get on with the rest of your life" :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ whop whop


Dear Mom
Doesn't always feel like it, and I hope to change that, but I am SO incredibly thankful for all that you do for me. Not many people have the same opportunities, family environment, material things even that I have. You've given so much and struggled so much for me and I feel guilty that I don't in any way deserve it, but it's only from your love for me. Thank you for modeling what parenthood is to me. God Bless you incredibly forever mom. I love  you sooo much.


Dear God, 
Thank you for speaking to me through Pastor M's sermon this past Sunday. Please help me stick to this month's prayer and fasting schedule and let huge breakthroughs happen at Mavuno Church to help us become the leaders you called us to be. Also, let there be some clarity on the whole career-switch, going back to school thing. Thank you mostly for your grace. Lord, I mess up constantly, I struggle choosing you. Thank you for helping me realize, any negative thought I have about myself...I'm a loser, I can't stick to anything etc. depression, fatigue, anger...those aren't my thoughts, most importantly those aren't your thoughts about me! Thank you for your grace and strength over my life.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for winning (FOR) my life. Thank you for taking my tiny insignificant little attempts at prayer and worship and turning them into something incredible, high praise in heaven's courts, right? Thank you for showing up and drawing near during worship. You're Awesome! You rock and I love you sooo much!

Dear Holy Spirit,
You are my strength. You are sweet yet powerful...I'm still getting used to the sweet part, not so much the powerful, but either way, You make everything better, you make me RE-JOY-ce...(have joy over and over again)


Lovingly Yours
Jo

Friday Letters

Dear Self,
No matter how that paper went yesterday, I'm proud that you got up and did it and didn't give up.


Dear Family,
I love you guys and I miss my nephew Jeremy! Sweetest little boy!


Dear KCB,
What's the point of sending me bank statements when the only money left in that account is the money you charged me. How do you charge ledger fees on a student account anyway? Of course a student doesn't have 100,000?- if I did, I would have opened a proper account not a students account! Sorry but I'm a Co-op bank girl now.


Dear Future hubz,
I pray for you daily, that God's drawing you closer and closer to His heart and that we be that couple that has crazy fun and laughs together daily. I promise to love you and adore you always.


Dear blog readers,
I know your there, I see the stats, but I wish I had more followers. I follow you guys, please follow me back! :-)


Dear Future self,
Send me a sign or something of where you are so I can get there. I'm at a crossroads.


Dear Jenn Johnson, 
If I land a spot after my audition, you deserve a little credit. You are an amazing leader, teacher, inspiration, singer/songwriter and I pray for God to continually bless you and increase you you guys' ministry.







Dear God,
I really pray for you to help me open some doors and maybe kick in the doors that are a bit stuck as regards the whole future life Fridays thing. Need a job, money, where to live etc.

Dear Jesus,
I'm so in love with you, how awesome are you! Seriously, you rock! I picture you as having cool swag and just loving on people and pouring out your love all the time. You hold nothing back. I want to think about how each of my choices affect you.


Dear Holy Spirit, 
Come.




Lovingly Yours,
Jo

Career Crossroads

I invited BFF (Mich) to my Church for some much needed girl time after the service and it was such a breath of fresh air, girl time is the best! I finally got to "socialize at the Calabash" (Church food court)

Anyway, I was just telling her how I’ve realized how much I’ve come alive in God, how badly off I was and just how when I think back, I was under this crappy dark cloud, but right now I feel like I’m living for the first time; how I really feel like I want to give my life to this whole worship and ministry stuff. 

I told her one of my biggest fears about jumping into this, is that nobody just jumps into wanting to be a Pastor. I went to school for all this time, studying business, and accounting to get a starting job paying upwards of 40,000/- and build that to 200,000/- by the time I turned 30. Now all of a sudden, I jump into this whole other career, unpaid position for the first couple of years, iffy salary after that…what’s that about?! The money is a huge issue for me, I don’t want to be going to family reunions and my brother and sister roll up in Range Rovers and BMW’s and I’m in a 1999 Toyota Corrolla! Or (gasp!) public transportation, whop whop :-/ . There’s also the little fact of, “hey, how will I afford to go to ministry school or do an unpaid internship for a year?”

Most importantly though for me is this: husband and kids. I know it’s crazy, but I’m “that” person who’s concerned about a family she doesn’t even have yet. BFF knows this about me. For me, whoever I love, I love. I give everything. Maybe not so much in healthy ways before I knew the Lord, (but now that I do, I’m much, much better at that! LOL) I feel like it’s not a fluke that he made me this way; that I would put my husband and kids before anything outside of Him. So, loving this future imaginary family so much, how am I ever going to get there? 

What are the logistics of like a corporate guy marrying a lady worship pastor? So, how does a female worship pastor go on dates? Honestly, I don’t want to go through my 20’s unmarried. I want it to happen sooner rather than later! How do those two worlds collide? There’s also the fact that you should marry a person who has the same values and goals as you. So, ok, forget the corporate guy, if by some supernatural miracle of God, I meet this amazing guy, committed to God, wanting to build up churches and resource and do all that stuff for church and everything just lines up, do I have the patience to be a church wife, friend to all, mother to many?

Point is, I do want a career and success and achievements and yes, I want enough money to be comfortable and secure. I also want to find purpose in that job, to know that I’m helping, to have fun and to look forward to doing what I do. I do want a husband and kids and an amazing family that loves each other to death and serves the church together, and I don’t want to spend the next 5 years searching for said person and regretting not finding love sooner, when I’m 30 and single.

Is it crazy that I want so much? Is it greedy? If I did get it, would I be happy? Truthfully, I don’t know the answers to these questions. All I really know guys is this; I didn't just wake up one morning and decide this, remember I announced this to my class when I was 13 years old! I have had a few missteps along the way...enough to make a really juicy testimony, lol, but now the "calling" is back. I don't feel like I have a choice but to do it. 

Obviously I do, I can technically just jump into the corporate world, and still live, and have a safe, predictable life. What to me is just, as one poet put it, "alive, patiently waiting for death" or I could take the risk and jump into this, and come alive.

Anyway, so that's what's going on with me. This month's sermon series has been incredibly relevant to me. I still have a couple of months before I'm done with College, so I have plenty of time to make plans, and I;m going to use what Pastor M taught us,

1. Read The Bible

2. Pray

3. Seek Godly advice

4. Look beyond the circumstances

Anybody ever been at a career crossroad, would love some advice!

xx

Jo

How to Stick to Your Calling

I have this issue of Jesus picking favorites i.e. John. I guess it’s a good idea, not to look at Jesus as you know the top of the clique and picking His favorites. I have to understand this context. At that point in His life, Jesus had only been in ministry for a couple of years. He didn’t have a huge following like He does now. He picked a couple of ordinary guys who he could walk with. Out of these 12, we get the whole, "many are called but few are chosen" line. 

Jesus looked more at the hearts of these people, at their devotion to him, at their potential, which everyone had potential. He never turned anybody away and made each person feel like they belonged. When he was healing the sick, I don’t think his mind was like “these guys are wasting my time and I really wanted to hang out with John,” In fact when he was resting with the disciples and people came up to him and the disciples tried to turn them away, he says “no let them come.” As long as you press in after him, he won’t turn you away.

Many are called, but few are chosen, and being chosen in God’s context is totally different from the world’s. It’s not about being more special, more gifted, more of anything than anybody else. In fact, Jesus has a reputation for picking the least special. It’s about your heart and how badly you want God, and how much you press in to meet him. Abraham was full of faith, Noah was righteous, Esther was courageous, but even in all these traits that these heroes of the Bible are known for, they had their weaknesses, Abraham didn’t believe Sarah would get pregnant, Noah got drunk, Esther was scared about stepping out and Mordecai had to encourage (if not push her)

For me, right now, I’m called, but I’m scared and discontent. Doubts fill my head ever so often. I’m scared of the Holy Spirit wrecking me, because I’m afraid my heart will explode, either out of fear of that supernatural encounter or out of fear that I’ll just be so full of love and emotion and joy and all that (God, I was horrible and evil, yet you still came to me) or out of fear that I’ll just lose control.

So at the same time, I’m learning about Jesus, how he only wants the best for us, and how his love didn’t come to steal, kill or destroy my life, but to give me life.

I’m also learning about sin. Man, the devil does not give you a break. Honestly, last night I went from questioning if Jesus has picked me, if he cares about me, to feelings of worthlessness, straight on to my old patterns of sin. Depressed->comfort food->maybe I should give that old boyfriend a call. I just opened one of the sermons on my computer and played it on a loop until I fell asleep (clutching my Bible to my chest) and God is faithful, my mom called me and cheered me up for absolutely no reason, just to check up on me. And there I was doubting Him, smh!

Sin is inevitable in the life of a human. Jenn Johnson said it best, “Everybody poops, but you’ve gotta flush!” Temptation is all around us and because we were born out of sin, that sinful nature is ingrained in us. However when we got saved, Jesus shed his blood to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

We put to death that old sinful nature and became clothed in the righteousness of Jesus. Problem is, once you become conditioned to do something, it’s hard to break old habits. This is why the Bible splits into two the heart and the mind. Your heart is changed instantly because the Holy Spirit takes root and changes your heart, that old sinful nature is taken out of you. The mind though needs renewing. The bible says if we say we have fellowship with him, yet keep walking in the darkness that’s a lie (1 John 1:6) This means, for a true life change/revival/renewal, we break the old habits, by building new habits and conditioning ourselves to holiness. So, obviously this could take time, but it’s inevitable. A change of heart will lead to a change of mind. You have to consciously choose to do right in a situation and soon, it will come naturally. We have to choose to walk in the light as he is in the light. 

In the meantime though, we might still sin, and this sin might lead to consequences that we have to suffer here on earth, but we have an advocate in Jesus, who atoned for our sins. 1 John 2:1. This isn’t a license to sin, like I said, on earth we will reap the consequences of that, if you rob a bank, you’ll go to jail, if you lie to your mom, you’ll feel guilty. 

Think about it this way, when I get married, and my husband forgets my birthday, I’ll be hurt, but of course I’ll forgive him. If I forget his birthday, of course he’ll forgive me, but, even though I know his forgiveness will always be forthcoming, why would I want to disappoint someone that I love? When we sin, we’ve already been forgiven, because Jesus already shed the blood to cover our sins, and love covers a multitude of sins, but why would I want to hurt someone I love? It’s not just about the blood, the sin, heaven, hell. It’s about love. It’s about connection. When someone expresses love in its purest, truest form, why would you want to return that by hate?

1 John 5:1 says, "For this is the love of God that we keep his commandments, and his commandments do not weigh us down, because everybody who’s been fathered by God has conquered the world." 

Like I said, last night, I was tempted to go back to my old pattern of sin, and Jesus would have forgiven me, that’s a given, but to hear the devil laughing in my ear, telling me I’m such a failure. I hate that. I don’t want to hear those words ever again. Even worse, to lose all that I’ve worked hard for, in building this connection with God again, losing that tiny measure of Holy Spirit that’s been placed on me so far and shutting down the Holy Spirit in me, and letting Him see me like that. I can’t do that again.

This applies to major issues, like sexual immorality and minor issues like, lying.

So, how do we stay true to God, to our calling and kick temptation's butt at the same time?

1. Remember, just because you’re chosen, it doesn’t mean you take your gifting and keep it to yourself. That’s why John says, what we have seen we announce to you also: 1 John 1:2 It's for the good of the Church and for the community.
2. The love of God is perfected in those who obey Him, like in Jesus. We have to walk as Jesus walked: 1 John 2:5-6
3. John says it twice in 1 John chapters 1 and 2; salvation doesn’t end at the prayer. If you say you’re saved, but you walk in the darkness, it’s a lie. Salvation results in change.
4. If I keep the commandments, I reside in God and God resides in me, and God in me is shown by the Holy Spirit he gave me: 1 John 3:23-24
5. There are many false teachers among us, and we should test them. Every spirit should say Jesus came in the flesh from God: 1 John 4:2

Remember the mission of Christ can be summed up as LOVE and RELATIONSHIP not LAWS and REGULATIONS

John talks a lot about love:

1. Love is sacrifice like Jesus gave his life
2. We should love one another because love is from God, and EVERYONE who loves has been fathered by God and knows God: 1 John 4:7
3. God is love: 1 John 4:8
4. Love isn’t that we loved God, but that He loves us and sent his son to atone for our sin 1 John 4:10
5. We come to know and believe in love God has in us: 1 John 4:16 But this love is perfected in us, so that we might have confidence in the day of judgment
6. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment and there is no punishment in love. 1 John 4:18
7. Everybody who believes in Jesus, can call God father. We should love everybody fathered by God 1 John 5:1

Finally, John ends his 2^nd letter by saying guard yourself from idols  in 2 John 5:21. We know from experience that teptation comes up from the idols we've placed in our lives, for example, if I'm a lover of money, it's easy to be tempted to sin, if I'm a lover of immediate gratification, I'm more inclined to take the easy way out and cheat or lie or have affairs when things aren't going well at home.

John says if we guard ourselves from idols, we develop FAITH, EXCELLENCE, KNOWLEDGE, SELF-CONTROL, PERSEVERENCE, GODLINESS, BROTHERLY AFFECTION, UNSELFISH LOVE

If these things are mine and continuously increasing, they will keep me from becoming ineffective and unproductive in my pursuit of knowing Jesus more intimately. However if I forget these things, I’m blind or nearsighted because I’ve forgotten about the cleansing of my past sin. I should also be sure of my calling and election so, I won’t stumble into sin and entry into the Kingdom of Jesus will be richly provided for me.