Mission Trip Update 2 - Team Meeting 1

Catch Up:
Update 1

OK, so I just got back from my first Mission Trip Meeting that was all sorts of exciting!

Tonight we just got to meet the team, hear each others stories and each of our hearts about how we got here and why we picked this trip. We also got to hear from our amazing team leaders their hearts for Italy and some of what we'll get to do or accomplish there.

One of the things I'm excited about is we hold a conference for Pastors & Business Leaders and Youth who are absolutely hungry for God and really pursuing what we get to live and grow in here in Bethel, that is God's Kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven...in other words a lifestyle of love encounters with Jesus and displays of that through healing, breakthroughs and miracles. It's personally exciting to me because I was that "hungry youth" pursuing that in my home country with no idea what it looked like and no connection whatsoever. So our team is going to be focused on not just hosting a fantastic conference, but also establishing a network and relationships that will be built on for years to come. I think we are in the 2nd year of the school going on this particular trip, so really being at the forefront of that is so exciting to me, and totally up my ally in terms of learning how to foster relationships for when I start a Church or Ministry or something like that.

Another thing is learning what the stuff we've been learning looks like placed in this cultural setting. Italy is really the heart of religion and whatever affects the heart affects the body. I can't begin to describe how great I feel just to begin to dream with God about what that will look like when old cathedrals are filled with ardent worshipers filled with the Holy Spirit. The family heart is also so strong there and my mind is swimming with possibilities of how this nation can change the world. God is SO good! When I started this blog post I had no idea it would end up here :-)

Financial update; we had some crazy testimonies released over us. Expenses decreased just enough to cover the deposit, anonymous donations that went just over what was need to cover both tuition and the deposit, finding money, receiving unexpected money, how a group didn't lose a single student due to finances. I am just pouring that over myself as I go to bed tonight! God is so good and beautiful & sweet and He is absolutely perfect and I choose to believe Him. God do it to me!

If you guys want to partner with me & this big crazy dream, please head on over to https://missiontrips.ibethel.org and fill in my name (Joan Maina) in the search box or use the easy link below. This gift is tax deductible(!) and you will receive a statement at the end of the year for your tax records. If you wish your gift to be anonymous, please check the anonymous box. This will allow you to receive an end of year statement, but will not allow me, to see your name.

https://missiontrips.ibethel.org/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&donor_search=Joan+Maina

(If online payment is not an option, check donations can be made payable to Bethel Church and mailed to the following address: Bethel Mission Trips Department, 915 Twin View Blvd.,Redding, CA 96003. Please include a note with my name (Joan Maina) with the donation to specify which student you are so generously supporting.)
I love you guys, thanks for reading. Please keep me & the team in your prayers!

Joan

Anxiety never won any battles, but joy...

 When I got here, all the prophetic words I got were about joy. How God would give me joy, how I'm a giver of joy, how I'm a rainbow in Heaven (yeah, I love Bethel, people speak life into you constantly). I always used to laugh and tell these people how back home my friends call me Furaha which means joy, so their words were spot on.

This week has really brought me back to the point where I realize the strength of those words.

I woke up with a fever and headache on Monday. I chalked it up to sleeping with the fan on and maybe catching a cold that night, so I took some paracetamol and went to school. By the end of the day, I was burning up and getting cold chills and burning up and getting cold chills. Yup, full on fever. I had my carpool group pray for me then got home and put on some worship, sang, declared God's goodness, said no to sickness, even did laundry & went back to Civic for Bethel's Vision Night. I got to meet Bill Johnson!!!!! After that we worshiped some more, and celebrated and then went home.

Natalie, Bill & I. (Fever literally 20 minutes before this. Ha!)

Cut to 10PM, I could not sleep! Fever came back and I was praying & tossing & turning in bed. 12 midnight, my stomach gets in on the action and I feel like I'm on a roller coaster after eating a gallon of ice cream. I tried to get up but I was so dizzy I knew for sure I'd hit the floor. By this point I was almost crying, so I text my housemate for help & pray God wakes her up lol. She comes in & gives me some medicine and prays for me and I'm finally able to sleep after 1 more hour of tossing & turning. (Thanks Laura!)

The next day, Tuesday, I had school. I'm still sick, I wished I didn't have to go, but I go anyway, because really, it's BSSM. I love it way too much to stay home and who knows if that's the day the biggest thing to happen will happen? I also figured, it would be easier getting better in Worship than in bed, right? I got checked out by an awesome momma from my Revival Group who's a doctor & she made me feel like I was back at home with my mom.

Turns out, the biggest thing to happen did happen at school, when the Holy Spirit fell so strong in the front of the hall, half of us rushed to the front & fell on impact! It was a mosh-pit of laughter & electricity. Needless to say, fever, nausea & all symptoms were gone after a couple of hours of rest after I got home that night. Hallelujah!

Today, is Thursday. I got out of school at 3:15, missed the 3:30 bus, had to wait for the 4:25, which was late, so I missed my connection meaning I had to walk about a mile & got home at 5:30.

Last but not least, the 'ole bank account dwindling down. The stark realization that I have money going out but have not had a single cent coming into my hands, not being able to work here & just not seeing the kind of breakthroughs you hear from others. People are writing support letters. I don't even know who to write to! My small family who've probably already given all they can? It's literally a draining feeling when your funds are draining.

This was my week. Was I frustrated? Yes. Did I feel like crying? Yes. Was I homesick & missing my mom and my car?! Yes!!! Did I want  to complain? Yes! When I missed my morning bus, I did write to my sister to complain. It was my 1st reaction. When I was sick did I want to mope around the house with a blanket and skip school? Yes! Am I scared about money, mission trip funds, 2nd year tuition? YES!!!

BUT, approximately 5 seconds after my initial reactions, joy comes over me. I was telling people, "I have a fever" with a smile on my face which looked weird, but I just couldn't help it. I'm riding the bus despite how much I wish I had a car, worshiping and singing  and I'm genuinely happy. It would be one thing if it were me & I was getting myself through all these situations, but it's not me. On my own, I'm not strong or brave or persevering or a fighter or any of those things. It's the neatest thing to ride on the wave of God working on me in the background.

I used to use sadness or moodiness to manipulate the will of God. Like, "God, I'll just be sad until you do this" Now I'm learning I don't have to be like that. God is good. God is really good. I'm His daughter. I'm smack dab in the middle of His will. His hand is not  too short that He will not save me or put me in the exact situation I need to be in in the perfect way & time.

Anxiety never won any battles, but joy...joy kicks some A*

Mizizi Week 3

I wore the maxi skirt again a couple of weeks ago, and teamed it with this top I’ve had since I was like 14. My mom buys really great stuff, she has an eye for quality and I’m really appreciating that because a lot of the stuff she and I wore in the past are making their rounds back into acceptable fashion. The silver ring, I got for my 21^st birthday.

Mizizi this week was insane! I’ve talked before about how I wanted to maybe go into Pastoral Leadership as a career, so a couple of months ago I decided to get a head start and start serving in Church. So I joined Worship Tea, (yayy!) and I signed up to teach/understudy a beginners course at my Church called Mizizi.

Yesterday it hit me that it isn’t about going and working. Serving is a major Spiritual burst! What I mean is, it pulls so much out of you, you’re constantly expected to grow and change and move out of your comfort zone. Last night I just felt the weight of it. I was just drained. Putting myself out there, sharing my heart with a group of practical strangers, having them share their heart, just the weight of all that.

Then there’s the feeling of, “God, they are so close! Please let them encounter you, please let them encounter you, please don’t let them leave here discouraged and not knowing all that you have to offer”

Then with Worship Team, again a bunch of practical strangers, trying to fit in, having to go all the way across town for fellowship and again, investing relationally and pushing myself out of my shell. Then these thoughts come in, “Why are you doing this? This isn’t a requirement! You’re getting tired for nothing! How safe is it to walk around town at night when you could be at home?”

The fact that I feel like this is an encouragement to me. Christian life isn’t about having this cushy, comfortable, status-quo existence, its active and action packed. Otherwise, stagnate and die. About the stress, I was watching Francis Chan and he said something along the lines of, “Mizizi/Worship Team, this isn’t my party that I’m inviting God to, this is His party that He lets me be a part of. I’m not the one on whose shoulders lie the responsibility of encounter, God is.”

I have to let God come and do what He does, that is, love in His people.

My only job description is to seek God, and put myself in a place where He can fill me up, so that I can pour into others. I have to rely on Him more than ever now because in my passive-church-once-a-week life, I’ve never been in this space where I’m technically “leaking”.

It’s also great because when I start dating and when I get a family, I’m gonna be “leaking” all over that too, so getting into the practice of getting filled up by God so I can pour onto others is a POSITIVE thing.

xo

Jo

Mad Love - Move Tour Concert

I just realized I never posted these pics! This was such a fun day, I already talked about it here. I think I dance a lot, like at Church, during Praise and Worship, I’m very expressive. At home, I’m about a thousand times more expressive, jumping around in my room and across the corridors, so at this concert, I was right at home!

Outfit of the day:

1. Had a lot of denim going on which I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I rocked it anyway, including the denim across the shoulder bag (a must to keep my stuff safe and my hands free)
2. Blue pearl drop earrings I got from a guy at Donholm Market
3. Side View
4. Jewelry for the day plus freshly manicured nails
5. No make-up; mascara and sweat don’t exactly go together; and, I changed my hair, I love this long and curly look, it’s my fave hairstyle of the year

Performers:

The guy in the middle is Sean Simmons. He was my fave performer of the night! First because he had the crowd shout “Hi” to his wife and he taped us (aww! )Gotta love a man who remembers his wife and does something like that for her!) Second because of his song, “We astronauts, we outta here”. I have to find that song and put it on The Sound! Another performer I loved was Jahaziel and he did this Ragga-ish song that sounded amazing! And of course, Adawnage leading Worship! Gah! Amazing! Plus the crowd responded, the Holy Spirit moved, and this was at a Hip-Hop concert! God is amazing! We left before Da Truth finished his set, Aggie and I were both car-less and live far, so we couldn’t stay late L

Aggie and I:

Fun day, but next time…VIP!!!! We’re getting to old for this standing and getting pushed around by kids for 5 hours business J

xo

Jo

Fearless Summit 2012

I don’t remember if I ever did a recap for Fearless Summit at Church I went to in June. I was going through my computer and found these pictures and I got happy all over again:

1. Swag bag
2. First Day Outfit
3. Meeting my most favorite Kenyan singer Atemi Oyungu (Please come sing at my wedding!)
4. Me and Pastor Daniel from Mexico; this guy was awesome!
5. Swag bag
6. My friend Sally (from Worship Team) and I

We got to hear from some amazing speakers!

1. Kenton Beshore from Mariners Church
2. Esther Obasi-Ike (Eish, this woman was IT!)
3. Session hosts were Gowi Odera and Angie Gichuhi
4. Pastor Simon shares with us
5. Background pic, camera, equipment and crew
6. We had a game where we had to throw balloons at each other across the dome
7. Prashan Devisser spoke for like 10 minutes but he was unanimously the person guys remember the most, all the people I meet who went remind me about him.
8. Swag bag + my first Delegates badge = me feeling like the coolest person in the world

xo

Jo

My Fearless 2012 Journey

I just got home from my second day of Fearless Summit...I just have no words, in fact if I start talking about today, it'll just wreck me, like flood of tears wrecked.

The resounding theme of the day was to STAND UP FOR JESUS AND DO IT! Whatever your IT may be. I will do a full recap in the next couple of days, all the pictures and fun stuff will be here and all the notes and lessons will be on Bent Reeds.

Excellence, Authenticity, Action these are what we've been called to as Christians. We've been called to step out of the "Church bubble" and actually provide real life solutions to a broken hurting world. Stephen Beck said in the morning session

"When the meat goes bad, it's no use blaming the meat - where was the salt? In the same way in a dark decaying world, it's no use blaming the world, the world isn't intended to be perfect, but the question on everybody's mind is 'Where are the Christians' "

Yeah, so wherever you are, whatever job you're doing, whatever sector of society you're in, would your boss, your neighbor, your client, your shopkeeper, your husband, your wife, your watchman, your parents, your cousins, would these guys know you are a Christian by the way you live your life. Are these lives around you impacted by who you are. Is your authenticity, your dependence on God causing a stir in your circle?

For me, my blogs, my twitter, my Facebook are incredible tools in my life, even if it's for one person. That one random email or comment I get from someone saying your passion has stirred up my passion for God, or one twitter follower who decided to check out a band or music I've posted and it leads them somewhere with God. Even if it feels like nobody's reading what I'm writing most of the time. I will still do this. I'll do a great blog design, I'll write everyday, I'll do it, because this is what did it for me. Tweets about dependence on God and blogs like Ashley's or Ruthie's reignited my fire. This is an area I've been called to as a starting point for where I'm going.

The chance I've been given to be in Worship Team is an incredible chance to use the calling of music in my life, my Church and all the classes and conferences we have are an incredible chance to use my calling to family ministry through going to and leading a class and eventually interning.

I have incredibly huge dreams and callings on my life...you can bet at every step, I'll strive to use whatever I have in that moment with faithfulness.

Speaking of faithfulness, just have to share this story of my Fearless journey and how I ended up here...I really was hesitant about going just because none of my friends were going and that feeling of being out of place just freaks me out. In the last minute the only person I knew was going ended up not being able to come, by this point I'd already paid, so I had to. You should know I am painfully shy!

Day 1 comes along, I'm freaked out again about going, but I got the number of my my friend's friend and it was cool because we ended up hanging out and I wasn't alone that day! Whew!

Day 2 comes, and my friends' friend who is now my new friend (are you following? :-) ) loses her phone so I couldn't reach her, and again I'm alone...I get there feeling weird, sit at the back, then an Usher asks me to move to a seat at the front, smack dab in the middle of strangers, at this point, I could not feel more awkward...dreading lunch because I had no one to "socialize" with, then at the last minute just as people were leaving, the lady next to me says, "Hi my name is so-and-so" and I'm like, "Hi, my name is Joanne" and she starts a conversation and I ask her if I can join her group for lunch. Whew!

Point of all this, is just to say God is faithful and I feel like He put me in these situations to teach me that I can rely on Him. If I step out in faith to where He's called me to be, even if the vision is hazy and I'm scared of stepping out, and I can't see exactly how it'll all work, I can lean on Him. My new friend losing her phone was also a God thing because at the end of it, I won't say, "thank God, she was there otherwise I wouldn't have survived alone" I'm going to say, "God provided for my simplest (yet hugest) need at that time and He's going to do it again. That's just what He does. That's built my faith.

***Oh, my friend's phone got returned, she had dropped it in a bus, and a guy picked it up and called her last dialed number and arranged to drop it off with that person. Can someone say miracle? God's Plan? HALLELUJAH!***

Sorry for the long picture-less post, just had to get that off my chest, but I will get you lots of pictures and videos after my last day tomorrow.

xx
Jo

Let's Play Catch-Up

Apparently numbered lists are my thing now, so bear with me :-)

1. I am just in love with my nephew, He's the sweetest baby, {well not baby anymore, toddler} there has ever been in the world. He has an easy laugh that's just  too cute for words. Then, he'd come up to me and rub his tiny hand on my face or just grab my face and give me a hug or a kiss and call me "Auntie Amla" ...ah! Sweetest kid in the world I tell ya!

2. Heard about this woman here in Kenya who found out her kid's photos are being used by a stranger who's acting like they are her kids. When this woman confronted her, the psycho refused to take the pics down! Really making me nervous to put pictures up, but ha! Too late, anyway, I think I'm going to pause photos until I watermark them. I won't stop posting them...no way I'm derailing my life for a few weirdos!!!!

3. Really felt ADORED by God yeaterday at Church. Remember Saturday I'd been feeling down? Well, I get to Church on Sunday, and guess what?! The Worship Team played Brian Johnson's/Bethel Music's "Your Love Never Fails" OMGosh! It was AMAZING! The band like knocked that one way out of the park! They mashed it up with "Our God Is an Awesome God"! I was just like, God orchestrated that whole thing for me! Yeah the band rehearsed and played it, but God let it happen for me. It was AMAZING! I'm still reeling. Feeling absolutely LOVED! I hope I get to sing that when my month on stage comes!

Afterward, another great thing I loved in Church was this kid from Greenhouse (Kids' Church) who was being interviewed...man, I want a son like that! He was like, I cant even describe it...he was such a leader, he knew God, he was eloquent and confident and he prayed like a champ. Great kid, he must have some crazy proud parents!

4. Hung out today with the nerd and another friend of mine. We surfed, exchanged some movies and went to eat at the newly refurbished Galitos at Union Towers. Wah, that grilled chicken from Galitos is crazy good! They had this offer for 1/4 Chicken, Fries and Pepsi for 300/- I think it's normally 460/- Glad I got that because we are probably never going to see that again!

5. Fearless starts the day after tomorrow! Yippee!

6. Spiderman opens this weekend! Ah!!!!!!

xx
Jo

Sunday Recap

Yesterday as usual, I went to Church and I honestly just about cried in the middle of the service, but I’ll get to that. OK, went to Church, got there right on time; Kanji’s team was leading and it was awesome. In the middle of Worship, I was just thinking about what I heard Philly Lopez say in a Worship Central video, that when you’re singing, you have to stay connected, sing with what you’re feeling, sing with what you’re going through and most important, sing as if you were standing right at the feet of Jesus. Yeah, so that was awesome.

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After worship, we were updated on Mavuno 3.0, which is our church’s move to a new location this year. So far we’ve raised about 20% of the money we need, and I know I’m meant to be a part of this, but what’s been intimidating to me is that, people are raising thousands, heck, millions and I obviously am not in that position. What’s kept coming back to me though is this:

Mark 6:35-44 v.35 when it was already late, his disciples came to him and said, “This is an isolated place and it is already very late. 36 Send them away so that they can go into the surrounding countryside and villages and buy something for themselves to eat.” 37 But he answered them, “You give them something to eat.” And they said, “Should we go and buy bread for two hundred silver coins and give it to them to eat?” 38 He said to them, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five – and two fish.” 39 Then he directed them all to sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they reclined in groups of hundreds and fifties. 41 He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. He gave them to his disciples to serve the people, and he divided the two fish among them all. 42 They all ate and were satisfied, 43 and they picked up the broken pieces and fish that were left over, twelve baskets full. 44 Now there were five thousand men who ate the bread.

  

OK, so it’s easy for me to be like the disciples and when this mandate comes, be like, “God, this is an isolated place (i.e. this Church needs to move), “send them away so they can go and buy themselves something to eat” (i.e. help them raise money for themselves). But Jesus says it clearly, this isn’t their job to feed themselves, this isn’t even my job and I am the Christ! What have youguys done, YOU feed them. The disciples went out and came back with all they could find, a small boy’s lunch, which is honestly what I feel like my contribution would be. Actually it exactly is, because my idea is to not eat lunch out this month and give that. It’s measly in comparison to the task ahead. Jesus takes that though, blesses it and feeds five thousand men, same way I’m expecting Him to take my lunch money, bless it and help us raise five hundred million! 

Next, Daddy Owen and Denno sang their hit song “Mbona” that also got me thinking about how I treat people who seemingly are less advantaged than me, like homeless people, disabled people, even simply people who dress different than I do, yet we were all created by the same Father, all in His image.

Ok, now to the part where I cried, the sermon! The series is called Heroes Wanted, led by our senior pastor, Pastor M. Here’s the preview below…awesome right? Anyway, here are some extracts:

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Why the Disciples Didn’t View Themselves as Superheroes: Acts 1:1-8

........Please click here to head over to my Bent Reeds page to keep reading :-)

 

Hope you liked Bent Reeds, welcome back :-)

After Church, we were given a prayer and fasting guide for this month, which I think will be really fun, we were also given a chance to write our own prayer requests and hand them in at church, and all these prayer activities culminating in another WORSHIP NIGHT! Absolutely cannot wait. I think by now you know my prayer requests, so standby and watch what God does :-)

Finally, I went to LIFEGROUP. Awesome time with friends as usual.

xx

Jo

 

Career Crossroads

I invited BFF (Mich) to my Church for some much needed girl time after the service and it was such a breath of fresh air, girl time is the best! I finally got to "socialize at the Calabash" (Church food court)

Anyway, I was just telling her how I’ve realized how much I’ve come alive in God, how badly off I was and just how when I think back, I was under this crappy dark cloud, but right now I feel like I’m living for the first time; how I really feel like I want to give my life to this whole worship and ministry stuff. 

I told her one of my biggest fears about jumping into this, is that nobody just jumps into wanting to be a Pastor. I went to school for all this time, studying business, and accounting to get a starting job paying upwards of 40,000/- and build that to 200,000/- by the time I turned 30. Now all of a sudden, I jump into this whole other career, unpaid position for the first couple of years, iffy salary after that…what’s that about?! The money is a huge issue for me, I don’t want to be going to family reunions and my brother and sister roll up in Range Rovers and BMW’s and I’m in a 1999 Toyota Corrolla! Or (gasp!) public transportation, whop whop :-/ . There’s also the little fact of, “hey, how will I afford to go to ministry school or do an unpaid internship for a year?”

Most importantly though for me is this: husband and kids. I know it’s crazy, but I’m “that” person who’s concerned about a family she doesn’t even have yet. BFF knows this about me. For me, whoever I love, I love. I give everything. Maybe not so much in healthy ways before I knew the Lord, (but now that I do, I’m much, much better at that! LOL) I feel like it’s not a fluke that he made me this way; that I would put my husband and kids before anything outside of Him. So, loving this future imaginary family so much, how am I ever going to get there? 

What are the logistics of like a corporate guy marrying a lady worship pastor? So, how does a female worship pastor go on dates? Honestly, I don’t want to go through my 20’s unmarried. I want it to happen sooner rather than later! How do those two worlds collide? There’s also the fact that you should marry a person who has the same values and goals as you. So, ok, forget the corporate guy, if by some supernatural miracle of God, I meet this amazing guy, committed to God, wanting to build up churches and resource and do all that stuff for church and everything just lines up, do I have the patience to be a church wife, friend to all, mother to many?

Point is, I do want a career and success and achievements and yes, I want enough money to be comfortable and secure. I also want to find purpose in that job, to know that I’m helping, to have fun and to look forward to doing what I do. I do want a husband and kids and an amazing family that loves each other to death and serves the church together, and I don’t want to spend the next 5 years searching for said person and regretting not finding love sooner, when I’m 30 and single.

Is it crazy that I want so much? Is it greedy? If I did get it, would I be happy? Truthfully, I don’t know the answers to these questions. All I really know guys is this; I didn't just wake up one morning and decide this, remember I announced this to my class when I was 13 years old! I have had a few missteps along the way...enough to make a really juicy testimony, lol, but now the "calling" is back. I don't feel like I have a choice but to do it. 

Obviously I do, I can technically just jump into the corporate world, and still live, and have a safe, predictable life. What to me is just, as one poet put it, "alive, patiently waiting for death" or I could take the risk and jump into this, and come alive.

Anyway, so that's what's going on with me. This month's sermon series has been incredibly relevant to me. I still have a couple of months before I'm done with College, so I have plenty of time to make plans, and I;m going to use what Pastor M taught us,

1. Read The Bible

2. Pray

3. Seek Godly advice

4. Look beyond the circumstances

Anybody ever been at a career crossroad, would love some advice!

xx

Jo

Worship Night!

Our church had its monthly worship night this past Friday, I tell you, it was amazing! I got there at around 6:30, people were still grabbing coffee and refreshments, then we started with some prayer...we did the whole "pray for your neighbor" thing and I always, always get paired up with someone who prays better than me...you know the type of prayers that you just want to keep quiet and listen to because they sound so powerful? I should have told that guy he needed to join the intercessors team, he was really good. Anyway, yes I prayed too!

After that, we got into the worship part of the night. The band was AMAZING! The sound was really good. Most importantly though, you guys know I love worshiping and its always a different experience, this time was great because it just got to a point where I realized, it's not about me, it's all about Him. Whether I like the song currently playing or not or whether or not I like the person leading or not, whether or not people around me are sitting down and I want to kneel or jump up and down is irrelevant, at that moment, I just have to make Him my focus, praising Him, crying out for Him, dancing my butt off for Him, lol.

We learnt a couple of new songs, I'm gonna have to figure out a way I can upload sound to my blog, so that I can put up new songs I've learnt/am working on. That would be kinda fun for future generations.

Anyway, it was such an amazing night, I can't even tell you. Being with other people who are as passionate, or even more passionate as you are about God, is an amazing thing. There are some amazing people living in this world of ours, Church was full, arms were raised, tears were shed, there was an in-door competition of who could jump the highest, dance the hardest and sing the loudest. People were just lost in worship. LOVE!

You know the Kim Walker Smith song, "Open Up Heavens" where she goes, "open up heaven, we will party with the angels..." I'll put it up...



I've just been picturing that all weekend. Like, the Bible says, there's a party in heaven every time someone comes back to the Father. I can picture the angels being like "Bam! In our face!" or "Whoop! There he is!" every single time someone gets baptized or turns their life around. In revelations, it says, the heavenly beings spend eternity singing praises to God.

We're kinda lucky to have a taste of that here on earth. A chance to remind yourself, you are not alone, you're not the one in control and you can't carry the world on your shoulders.

That said, worship night was amazing, and I'm happy I finally got our car back and I got the chance to go. I am not alone, I am not in control and I don't have to carry the world on my shoulders.

xx
Jo

Future Life Fridays - YWAM Nashville

This edition of FLF features, Youth With a Mission in Nashville, Tennessee.



Pros
1. I LOVE Nashville, or any part of Tennnessee really
2. Practical training

Cons
1. I can't find the Church it's affiliated to so I don't know the leadership
2. Haven't really heard of it

Financial:
Discipleship Training School :: Phase 1 (4 months) $2990, Phase 2 (5 months) $3290, Phase 3 Outreach (depends on circumstance 5 months) including, meals, accommodation
School of Ministry Development :: Phase 1 (4 months) $2990, Phase 2 (5 months) $3290, Phase 3 Outreach (depends on circumstance 5 months) including, meals, accommodation

Future Life Fridays -BSSM

On this edition of Future Life Fridays, we feature one of my picks for a Church Internship, Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. 

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Pros
1. I love Bill Johnson's and Kris Vallotton's sermons. I respect how they are all about living what they preach, I respect their ability to not rely on public opinion but on God's opinion and their teachings are Bible centered and God focussed
2. I love Bethel music and to get to learn under them would be an incredible experience
3. Redding is a beautiful city with lots of outdoorsy stuff to do and normal climate
4. More affordable than most
5. Get to grow in maturity and confidence as a Christian and a Leader
6. Emphasis on loving Holy Spirit which is neglected in a lot of new churches
7. What's more inspirational than Banning Liebscher and the impact he's made on youth and young adults?
I could go on and on

Cons
1. Honestly, I just have one issue, which is a couple of pictures I saw online of some apparent BSSM students who went on a field trip to a cemetery. It's a flimsy con, because for all I know those pictures could be fake...anyway, just thought I'd be honest

Anyway, here's the breakdown from their website:

Mission: the school emphasizes that believers need to return to the ministry of signs and wonders—to minister in love, truth and the power of God. The mission of BSSM is to equip and deploy followers of Jesus Christ who passionately pursue transformation in their God-given spheres of influence. Students are trained to continue in the ministry style of Jesus: to enjoy the presence of God, say what He is saying, and do what He is doing.

Atmosphere: Boldness, passion and risk are center stage in Bethel’s school.  Emphasizes hands on training and experience along with academic understanding. This creates a do and teach culture where all of the students are expected to take risks to stretch their faith and grow in their understanding of God. BSSM believes that each verse of the Bible is an invitation into an experience with the Lord, therefore the students are challenged to live the Bible. This produces a class environment that often feels very much like a laboratory where disciples practice the things they are being taught while instructors coach the process and all this takes places in a setting of passionate worship.

Student Life: in-class hours are Monday through Thursday from 12:45 to 5:30, the school is full-time, five-days a week - minimum. The other hours consist of learning through homework, from an author or from the Holy Spirit as the students read the Word, attend services, serve on ministry teams, soaking & prayer times of personal devotion, living the supernatural lifestyle in an honorable way at work, and more. It's designed to equip students to live a supernatural lifestyle, not just minister in the gifts of the Spirit. They are encouraged to be naturally supernatural by bringing heaven to earth wherever they go. 
Therefore BSSM by design, does not have dorms. Instead we encourage students to live in the outreach neighborhoods and get jobs in the local area so that they can practice bringing Jesus to the market place as a part of their learning experience. Most of our students work part-time jobs while they attend school.
The school has no general restriction on dating for our single people, which is so common to most ministry schools. Rather, we have chosen to teach our students how to have healthy relationships and live in purity. 
Of course, learning without a lot of external restrictions creates a need for a high level of discipleship, personal responsibility and accountability in the lives of our students. This is accomplished through small group interaction and a covenant community which embraces honesty, transparency and confrontation.

Academic Life: Taught by apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers - not by professors or theologians. BSSM students learn how to read, understand, and “do” the Bible - how to cast out demons, witness, heal the sick, prophesy, preach, pray, practice His presence and much more.
The BSSM students learn in large group sessions, revival groups of 60-70 people, small groups of 5, and on their own. 
There are also classes entitled Advance Ministry Training. Here, students choose the subjects they are passionate about and called to train in; areas such as leading worship, children’s ministry, preaching, prophecy, intercession, intimacy with God, youth, and career ministry. .
Reading on your own time is expected and is a large part of our curriculum. There are approximately 2400 pages of mandatory reading throughout the year. That works out to 10 pages of reading everyday of the 240 days from beginning to graduation. That’s on top of 2-3 chapters of the Word daily. So plan on reading 30 – 60 minutes a day minimum.

Finances:(doesn't include housing, food, living expenses) 

Non-Refundable application fee:	$35 = 2,800/-
Tuition: Includes 1-2 closed-circuit television conferences a year, textbooks and costs of city outreaches:	$4,200 = 336,000/-
Expenses not covered by tuition: Cost of an optional mid-year missions trip	$0 - $3,500 = 280,000/-

International Students: A lot of information and support is given here

Sounds pretty good, huh?

xx
Jo

How To Let Go

Saturday, I went to class; remember how I ducked my Tuesday and Thursday classes, well Saturday I went and my teacher says to me in front of the whole class, "Joanne, you're back?" I hate being pointed out like that, but now that I write that out, maybe it wasn't that much of a big deal...

After class, I decided to go to our Saturday night service so I could chill on Sunday. It was amazing.

 Mavuno Church

We finished up this month's series, "Unshackled" and a couple of things I learnt from that were;

1. Pride is the "Why should I?!" attitude. "Why is he offended?!" "Why should I apologize?!" 
2. Pride is easier to swallow than consequence
3. Pride when swallowed adds no calories
4. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting, and we get caught up in the not being able to forget part that we give up on trying to forgive at all
5. Forgiveness is saying, I let you go, I let it go, God lead me on this road to healing

After the sermon, we pinned up these little notes on which we'd written the names of the people who hurt us/who we hurt on a huge wooden cross they'd set up. That was so powerful. I was just looking at that cross thinking, "Wow, Jesus, because of you, because of this sacrifice you made, because of your blood, I can live in freedom. I don't have to carry the regret and hurt and anger, I can be free"

Mine

I wrote down my name and the ex's. I've just spent so much time and energy hating someone, and it's been holding me back for way too long. After last week's sermon, Pastor S encouraged us, to deal with the anger and confront those emotions and he suggested writing a letter, or meeting with the other person, or going through counseling.

I did and it turned out to be like 8 pages long. I was in the worst relationship in recorded history for 8 months so I guess 1 page per month :-) Anyway, I didn't feel like it was necessary and I didn't really feel God pushing me to talking to him or sending the letter. That would just cause a whole other session of me being hopeful for an apology, which at this point wouldn't really mean that much. Also, I don't really think he's ever going to be at that point where he gets it. But it felt incredible for me to just release all that, and then the cross thing just cemented everything together. Now every time bitterness pops up, I remember that note I left on the cross.

So, how to LET GO:

1. I would totally encourage someone to write or purge themselves like that. I honestly feel so free form that.
2. Pray about it, yell at God, cry out to God, do whatever it takes to fight for your heart
3. Release yourself to God's love. That's where it all begins. His love heals, restores, renews. I got this picture in my mind of being in worship, and God's holding my heart and it's got all these black lines running through it, scars and patches from when it's been broken, and God's working on it. It's not instant, but He's not only putting that heart together (that won't lead to an abundant life) He's making it like new (reNEW)
4. Forgive. Make a choice to let that person or that situation go. Every time a thought pops up, forgive.
5. Do a small physical act of letting go. This can be like, wearing a certain piece of jewelry, sticking your note up on a cross like me :-) giving away old clothes to charity, burning an old letter, anything that you can look back on and it serves as a reminder of God's sacrifice so you can be free. (Please don't do anything crazy or against the law here :-) )

xx
Raha

Be The One

"I am going to be the one...the best that I can be...because that is how God intended it to be."

The sermon at Church this past Sunday blew my mind. Pastor M talked about Leah in Genesis 29 from verse 31. How she knew from the beginning Jacob (Jacobinho hehehe) didn't love her and she was for all intents less than 2nd best.

What she did is typical female behavior, had babies trying to win Jacob's love. Baby after baby she popped out. but Jacob still remained cold. Finally, she learnt that she wouldn't be dependent on Jacob anymore and named her last son Judah meaning "This time, I will praise the Lord"

So, I took all these notes I've laid down under this and promised to God to stay single for the whole year, if He would draw me closer ti Him. I want to be intertwined with God. I stood up and said that prayer with Pastor S. 20 minutes later, I was standing in line at the supermarket tears stinging my eyes when I saw a box of chocolates on those valentine's day stands, and realized, I wont be getting chocolates next week. I'm not kidding. Actual tears in my eyes over a box of chocolate.

But here's what I took home...not the chocolate, but the realization that, God made me, he made my heart. He knows everything about me. Who I want to be, (which hopefully aligns with who He made me to be) and who I was. He knows my desires, to be loved wholly, to love wholly, to be a great wife and an amazing mom, to have a family. He knows all these things about me, and he knew them from the beginning. 

I got in my own way, when I took life in my own hands, and tried to find that joy and contentment without him. It was a slippery slope, that ed me like Leah, to finding that next guy who would make me feel valued. I'm totally with her in saying, "Its's not this child, but oh, it has to be the next one." But, now 2012, no more insanity. "This time, I will praise the Lord." This time, I will run after Him, this time I will worship Him. This time, He will be my joy and contentment.

So yeah, I know it's the hugest deal making a promise to God, but I do. This is your year Lord. Its a completely faith move. I don't know what will happen, except that I will want to quit by June. But I'm relying on you for wisdom and strength.

My Notes

1. Human beings are very different from cars, they behave differently under test conditions. (On Living Together before marriage) You can't be completely vulnerable.
2. Transferring the responsibility for your joy and self-esteem to another human being is perpetually walking into insanity. Its time to shift my focus. Shifting focus from man to God is the only time He'll change you into who you need to be.
3. Making a fool of yourself is the natural progression when you want to manipulate someone into meeting your needs for you.
4. Desperate clingy women can only attract hard uncaring men.
5. Are they the problem or is it me?
6. Like attracts like. A relationship only compounds the state you were in before.
7. If your broken, you attract broken people. They can't meet your needs, that's why they married you! It's a 2 patients and no doctor situation, 2 people bound never to satisfy each other. Complementary dysfunctions.
8. Work on your issues...if you don't have health on your life, no one will bring it to you.
9. This time, 2012, something is different. Things will change as you begin to work on you, you grow up, stand taller have an undeniable sense of God-esteem.
10. Let's not perpetuate childish love which equates to lust. Mature people need to understand what it takes to relate to one another.

xx

Raha