Stewardship = Investment

Something God has been speaking to me a lot recently is on stewardship. One of my goals in life is to be a good steward. I've lived under a poverty mentality all of my life, if it's not living in poverty, it's been running from poverty. I feel like I got a lot of freedom from that, this whole orphan mentality of spending as soon as you get money or hoarding it and hiding it away. I think I've found a happy medium. Sometimes though, I feel a bit of poverty creeping in. I currently stay in a country where I'm not allowed to be employed legally and can't earn any money while pursuing the dreams and desires of my heart. You'd think this would be an awesome vacation, not having to work Woo! No. It actually sucks. I had a horrible job before coming here but the feeling of earning a paycheck...I miss that feeling.

So here I am, I can't earn any money, money's tighter than it ever has been, so to show God I'm a "good steward of the little" so He can give me more, I strive and struggle and skimp and I find the more tightly I hold on for control, the more it all falls apart. Suddenly the bank charges you an amount you hadn't planned for or the electric bill comes in higher than you planned. 

Another funny one is, I'm not a big fan of peanut butter, but sandwiches are a way of life as a student, so I can handle almond butter. PB is $3, AB is $5, so what should I get? PB is cheaper so get the PB right? This is what I did. I got home, opened it, tasted it, hated it. So, my idea of stewardship ended up costing me $3 being stuck eating something I hate instead of adding the $2 and actually eating something I enjoy.

I could give you example after example of things I've bought because I thought a cheaper price tag meant stewardship and they all ended up being more wastes of money than if I had bought what was actually on my heart that I needed to buy. From 99ct avocados that all went bad in 2 days to other products that would be tmi 😉

I know this is a way of life for a lot of people and I understand the privilege of shopping for anything at all. I appreciate the struggle but I'd be lying if I said I could reconcile this struggle with the God who paints the most lavish, extravagant sunsets. I mean, why all the fanfare? Wouldn't a cosmic light bulb hanging on the end of a string switched on and off be enough? Yet He weaves together clouds and color and beauty. It's obvious God and poverty don't exist in the same world.

Yet here I am. Trying hard to hold on when the facts are staring at me dead in the face. The world would look at me, as I do sometimes and say, "It's time to live in the real world, go home, get a job". The thing is, this is my real world. Bethel, BSSM, this place saved my life, literally. I was hopeless and suicidal before that awesome day I saw Kim Walker Smith singing into my soul and leading me to my 1st encounter with God. I was cyclically depressed for my entire life until the day Bill Johnson prayed and I felt the power of God through the screen and I ended up laughing on the floor of my room in Nairobi for a straight hour. God could have touched me anywhere through anyone but this is what He chose and what has worked for me right now. This is the realest life for me.

God is teaching me stewardship isn't management, it's investing in what brings increase. Management puts me in the drivers seat, investing puts Him in it because when you invest, that money isn't in your hands anymore, its on what Management does with the investment.

One of my callings is brainstorming missions, especially to Africa because that's where I'm from. God is also showing me that the business world has more faith in Africa than the Church because the business world believes in investing but the church believes in giving. Investing is a huge deal and I feel like I'm investing into my future and my family's future and in a way the world, because the world can be the person down the street or at the store or it can be an entire nation. Pastors lose credibility for asking people to give, personally, I've lost family because they equated my being here as me gearing up to ask them for handouts and charity. For all that God has done for me, I don't need that.

I'm in the right place. I can't convince you of that with any number of words, but I pray my life shows it.

If you would like to invest in me, I can't promise you a nation or my continent, but I can promise you myself. I'm showing up where I need to show up. I'm being who He made me to be. I'm loving myself and the people around me. If you'd like to join my family that God's given me this past year, invest in me for me and financially support this journey of volunteering and seeing His faithfulness and saying yes and going where He leads me around the world and back and kicking the enemy's butt because he really just pisses me off! Please email joanmainaworks@gmail.com for more information or postal address.

Blessings & Peace to your house.

Bethel Church: The Real Deal

"Steady Heart" from The Undoing by Steffany Frizzell-Gretzinger

I've been at Bethel over a year now...feels so good to say that! Bill always says, "people come here searching for revival but they stay for the culture." I was back home during the summer and when people asked me about my experience, I was very clear in the fact that this was not heaven! I still went through some very real experiences and encountered some very real people. Not every situation or person was sunshine and roses. That led to the question, "So why would you want to go back?"



Honestly, let me just speak from the heart. First of all, coming here, I did not plan this at all, finding God and family in California has been the word in the deepest part of my heart since I first became a Christian 14 years ago, so being here, it feels to me, it's honestly just like I stepped into a wave God had already created 14 years ago.

Second, the way these leaders love and honor each other. They aren't all besties, but the way they talk about each other makes them seem like they are. There's such a high value for excellence and you can see it through Bethel Music for example and how everything they release is top notch. Even their offices, everything from the logo to the wallpaper to the desk lamps screams excellence and intentionality. Like I said, I've been here over a year, I promise you, there is genuinely no competition among the leaders, everyone is fully free to be who they are and they fully celebrate each other and never compete. Look at this video! Steffany is fully herself and Amanda is fully herself. Nobody has to shrink to maximize the other, nobody has to pretend to be bigger than the other. Everybody has their imperfections, but everybody is quick to clean up their mess - if not, it may just mean, you have to work on your own self -

It translates to students and visitors when you see how once a week 2000 students go out volunteer to help in schools, clinics, elderly people homes, cleaning up parks and weeding in the bush, all with no other agenda but to intentionally show love to the city that has opened up it's arms to us. Forget the organized volunteer spots, the sheer number of people who have no money and no time, give generously to needy people in stores and give an encouraging conversation to a homeless man on the street.

Honestly, I feel like the luckiest person in the world to get to experience this. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You Jesus!

If you want more information, I'd highly encourage you to get Danny Silk's book Culture of Honor which a lot of leaders have found useful in getting an idea of the vision.

Honor & Inheritance

The message on my heart this week has been on living from inheritance. I read this quote from Andy Mason's book, God With You at Work and at first it didn't sit right with me. Our world is very "self-made millionaires" or "started from the bottom now we're here" attitude driven. This statement could offend a lot of people. But this sentence was really just highlighted to me.

Fast forward to sitting in class the next day and Kris Vallotton begins speaking about how one of the smartest tactics the devil has used has been in creating the generation gap. You see, if the younger generation are isolated from the older, they miss out on every lesson and every process the older went through to get to where they are and essentially, end up starting from rock bottom, re-inventing the wheel instead of building a new floor on their ceiling.


God didn't create us to start over after every generation, He created us to build upon inheritance. This is why laying on of hands, inheritance and impartation was such a big deal. Laying on of hands isn't just for healing, that's only instructed once in the Bible in James. James even recognized that it was the elders that were to impart healing. Elders.

It's actually a physical act to show a transfer of what one person has to another person. In Genesis 27, we see all the lengths Jacob went through to get Isaac to lay hands on him and bless him at his deathbed. Later, we see Joseph asking his dad to bless his sons before they died. The laying on of hands wasn't an exchange of property in the physical sense, but these men recognized it had a value far above material goods in the spirit. If we don't recognize value in the spirit, we end up missing out, like the king who struck the ground 3 times instead of more missed out on Elisha's mantle. (2 Kings 13)
That's a good selah right there. Just stop and think about it.  

Recognize that what is happening in the Spirit has far more value than any material goods.

If it was just about stuff, Isaac would have easily taken it back and given it to Esau, but he couldn't, essentially, he said, "what's done is done, I've already given my all to your brother, I can't take it back." It wasn't about cattle or fields, it was something deeper.

So, Kris ties it in to present day, how we hold no value for those who have gone before us and we "retire" people and call them out of date and useless and we lose out on all that they have fought for, so we end up fighting things we could have avoided.

He used the analogy of track runners. How when you run a relay, the person waiting to be handed the baton has to start moving, show the 1st runner he can get up to speed, he can't just sit there and do nothing. If we're gonna win, we have to honor the run of the person who ran before us.

So I dug this out, an old relay race that Kenya won ;-)

You see, the 2nd runner wasn't just sitting around doing nothing, he was up and rearing to go.

I got the full impact of this today in my Bible class with Mike Tesauro. Mike is my new Bible instructor. I've seen him around and heard his name a few times. So I sat in his class not really expecting anything crazy. It's just a Bible class. Theology, facts, etc. A few minutes into the lesson, Mike and his wife start off telling us their history. How they got saved, how their passion for the Word began, how it brought them together, how they've practically, radically applied the Word, how it's led them through bad times in their 33 years of marriage, their ministry and where they are now. Then he goes back to teaching the lesson plan.

My attitude pre-history and after was 180 degrees different. Now, essentially, I knew what they were building and what I could build upon. I felt it in my heart through their story, them handing me the baton, giving me access to their 2nd floor to start building my own passion for the word and the treasures it holds. Like, you could feel the shift in the room. I felt like, what took them 33 years to build, I don't have to fight that hard, for that long. Do I still have to go through process and build my own history, yes. But, it's going to be different for me. I've seen what can be done, I have their testimony, I know what I can do.

I can't put a price tag on what I'm getting from BSSM. It's hard to explain, it's hard for anyone outside of this to understand, (which is why I get the internet talk/criticism) it sounds crazy, but, what I'm getting is an inheritance from people with the deepest histories. I have access to their history. I have legal precedence to pass through the roads they forged. I've seen them live their lives and seen the impact of who they are and I get to be part of their story. How can you put a price tag on that?

Anyway, I'll end it here. Blog etiquette states that I've gone a little word-overboard, but I'm just so excited about this and I hope you catch that!

Living in a Transitional Town

Redding is often described us a catch and release center. Every year a bunch of talented, creative amazing people come for revival, get infected and go back to change their worlds. I'm sure being a local is hard. Being a Revival Group Pastor harder still. You let people into your world who are only going to be there for 8 or so months before they leave. No amount of FaceTime or Skyping fills the gap of not seeing someone you've shared your life with daily for an extended period of time.

I get that. But in a world where we believe in an unlimited God, who can do the most crazy outlandish things, I don't want to limit him in my friendships or relationships.

It would be tempting as a local to take to shutting out out-of-towners or internationals from your circles or from forming deep friendships with them, let alone dating(!). You are responsible for you. Nobody has a right to claim your space or get in the middle of what you're building. I get the need to protect your heart, it's important to surround yourself with people who will be with you and your family for the long haul.

But, I also feel like I should encourage people to not limit God and not limit their hearts' capacity to grow and expand and heal. To not limit the depth of friendship that God wants you to experience in whatever season. Sure, a lot of special people pass through this town, and they'll keep coming. But, what if this particular special person had something so great to offer you or your group, that God had to send them from the other side of the world to give it to you and you missed it because you were afraid of the next summer vacation?

We pray for God to use us to change the world, but we ignore the guy from Slovakia living next door. I'm totally biased, but it just doesn't sit right with me. The exclusivity that belies a culture of community. I firmly believe if you help someone achieve their vision, you help yourself achieve your own.

Give people in transition a break, we didn't move across the country/world to break your heart, we're just trying to live our lives and it's scary for us as well. Speaking from an internationals' point of view, we have Uncle Sam on our back, living below the privileges entitled to his kids which is great. God willing, Mother Africa will be waiting with open arms for me ;-) I have a home. Uncle Sam's privileges are one thing, but we don't need to live below the privileges of love and connection entitled to all God's kids.

If we're doing this and we're in this thing for eternity, wouldn't I want to know the people I'll be working besides in the Kingdom? This is your chance! Covenant has to override distance and space. Bill Johnson and Randy Clark don't live in the same city, but are they still brothers? Yes. Kari Jobe and Brian Johnson don't live in the same town, that didn't stop them for writing "Forever" together. Brian Johnson and Ben Fielding don't live on the same continent, they wrote a song together too. Carl Lentz went to school in Australia and came back with an Australian wife to plant an Australian born church in New York City. The precedent is there. Distance doesn't break friendship. Laziness does. Not being intentional does.

In my opinion, as scary as it is to put your heart on the line, it would belittle God to live like I didn't believe He's in control of our seasons and interactions. It would be bordering on the edge of hypocrisy to believe God can raise the dead to life, but He can't make my life richer after mine or someone else's transition into a new season.

#lovethesojourner

Deut10:18

BSSM Chronicles - Part 1: 1st Day of 2nd Year!

I had a couple of posts lined up for this week, but, wow, I have to write about my first day of school today.

Today was my 1st day of 2nd year.

To say I was unprepared would be an understatement. 

First if all, we had a book report due today, yes, on the 1st day. I had it written a long time ago, I was just too lazy to figure out how I was going to print it. Let me tell you, there's a lot more pressure to have your "stuff" together compared to last year. Last year, my assignment would be late and I'd be like, 'whatever I'll hand it in tomorrow, so long as the deadline hasn't passed, I'm good!'. This year, not so. This year, I'm a leader. My time should be spent pursuing leaders, growing my mind and my heart, falling in love with Jesus and all these other things that can't be done with an empty homework bin looming over my head. So there I was during our 30 minute recess speeding back home to finish editing and rushing to the print shop to sort that paper out. It felt like I was filming Mission Impossible and Tom Cruise was sitting beside me in the passenger seat. I literally had a countdown timer on in my phone. It was exhausting and I was probably better off staying at school and handing in my paper late tomorrow.

Second, I was unprepared for the depth we're expected to venture into this year. 1st year turned me inside out pretty good; I was emotionally exhausted at the end of each day. I thought this year would be different...yeah, it wasn't. Cue me, driving through In n Out for some emotional eating & getting sick an hour later because I haven't eaten a dirty burger in 4 months and it was a bit of a shock to the system.

Anyway, today wrecked me. Kris Vallotton spoke on Apostleship and the difference between denominational-ism and apostleship. Gabe talked to us about our expectations and our pastors expectations of us. Then, there was some phenomenal worship by Kristene and Matt that I was nowhere near ready for. Then there was Sarah and Dave...

Sarah spoke about the importance of falling in love with Jesus. How loving Him should be tangible, we should feel that love permeate the atmosphere. She used the example of John G Lake healing a woman simply from feeling God's love for us and for this woman in that moment and he gave the woman a hug and she was healed. Then she played us a video with this guy leading some mind blowingly beautiful worship and pouring out His love to God and some BEAUTIFUL stuff happening in the process, that video changed my life.

Dave, spoke and God spoke through him. Of the many brilliant things he said, he said we need to stop fighting our weaknesses and rest in them because in our weaknesses Christ is made strong. He proposed that the devil might then be afraid of our weaknesses more than we were because he knows the potential for strength that they have. I like Dave because he's real, he said he knew his teaching isn't easy to apply - sitting in our weakness? I mean, naturally when we're covered in slime all we want to do is wash it off, but he said that in all our trying, we forget the main thing which is rest in God. We try and try and follow 10 step program after another and always end up in the same spot and these are the moments the enemy loves: when we're distracted and beating ourselves up because then we're as ineffective as we will ever be and cut off from the life renewing power of God. What happens though, when we decide to keep our focus on God rain or shine? He called for a vulnerability in the place of our shame. For us to break the walls of hiding & self preservation down and to be raw and honest.

I'm extremely privileged to be in Dave's group this year. All of our pastors are amazing - wise, kind, generous, affectionate, insightful - I'm excited to simply be in the same room as them. At the same time, I have to say it's scary. It's scary trying to figure out what pursuit looks like, what coming under fatherhood looks like, what not hiding behind a smile and a laugh and being raw looks like, what opening up and being known and seen looks like, what servant hood looks like, what I as a leader will look like, how to grab this year for all it's worth and not miss a thing? I want more than anything to soak it all in, be intentional about growing and becoming and being uncomfortable and being able to sit in uncomfortable situations and be fine with it, still I.am.scared.

It's different though, because even in my disheveled state at the end of the day, I know I need my Spirit to be triumphant as I go to bed, because this year I can be confident in what He's done. I don't need 2 days of solemnity to make myself believe it. Hence, this late night post, trying to rev up my Spirit to be triumphant (apart from the junk food hangover). I can go on; compared to last year when I'd carry the emotional and spiritual load for days. 

I don't want to speak too soon though!

That's it, day 1.

School Of Ministry First Year Impact

I recently applied (& got accepted!) to 2nd year and we had to answer some questions online and in a one-on-one interview. I saved some of my online answers because I thought it would be cool to look at some years down the line.

What two areas that have impacted you the most from your first year experience?
 1. Loving others: being involved in Treasure Hunts & generally being placed in positions where I had to pray for & prophesy over others has been a stretching experience & has given me a deep love & compassion for people that I had never tapped into before. I'm learning what it looks like to love what God sees in people and not my own first impressions.
2. What being a powerful woman looks like: through watching & interacting with powerful people & going through inner healing I didn't know I needed until I got here, I keep growing in the realization that I don't have to act like a powerful person, I just am. Knowing my identity, knowing I don't have to put on a personality - knowing that I am worthy of love whether I meet people's (or my own) expectations or not, simply because I will always show up. 

What two areas that you have been challenged in the most?
 1. Evangelism: I have never approached a stranger & never thought I could because "it just wasn't my thing" but interacting with the 2nd years has kicked me out of the nest - I have been pushed a lot into giving words of knowledge on the spot & it has really challenged me, so much so that now I can't not start conversations with strangers, which before was not possible for me.
2. Performance mentality - I have had to rid myself of this pattern that I lived in where I only approach people especially leadership when I have something good to show them/put on a mask of perfection. People can definitely see through that here, so I've been learning to just be me, to honor my heart, if I'm going through things to let people in & not just try & handle it on my own so I can maintain a certain image.

What two areas have you have grown in the most?
1. Boldness: the first few weeks of school, I was scared talking or singing in front of people - now I can't believe it's me sometimes. It's definitely an area of growth & I can't wait to see what that ends up looking like.
2. Relationally: I am learning how to do friendship well, what honor & confrontation & love looks like. Previously, I always gave up on friendships when struggles arose, but now I'm fighting for my friendships & bringing people in because this is God's plan for me

What is one leadership quality you are still growing in?
Not letting my voice disappear in the crowd, stepping out & voicing my needs/opinions.  There's a thin line between a servant heart & a slave heart & I'm learning what that looks like. For example, taking the trash out every week might show a servant heart; but taking the trash out every week because I'm afraid of confronting my roommates to do it, that's a slave heart. So basically, telling people what to do/what I need done is an area I'm growing in.

Briefly explain why you want to attend 2nd year
I've definitely learned a lot in 1st year & it was worth the investment, so I definitely want to continue with the  program because there's still a lot more offered to pursue. More than that though, after interacting with 2nd years, I want what they have. There is definitely a depth of maturity & leadership that they exemplify and more opportunities to grow as a leader that I am incredibly interested in. I'm excited for more Bible Classes & more targeted training opportunities that will help me build my future ministry. I'm also looking forward to pursuing leaders & learning from them as much as I can. 

Ministry

Do you feel called to a particular aspect of career ministry or are you called to another sphere of influence? Please explain: Yes. I feel called to teach about purity and/or family relationships. Also in writing music.

Grieving

These next couple of weeks are emotional. On one hand I'm excited to see my family, to eat my mom's pancakes, to spend time with my sister and trade stories, to get my hair done and on the road to recovery. At the same time I'm terrified. I have no idea what the future holds. I feel like I'm not done with Redding, my heart belongs here, but a part of me feels like I'm being ripped away prematurely. I'm not done yet, the things God showed me and others, they haven't happened yet. All my dreams haven't come to be yet. Still, here I am counting the days. I'm excited to go home, but terrified at the same time.

Home holds a lot of memories for me, the majority of which haven't been pleasant to say the least. God literally rescued me from a destructive cycle when He brought me here. I was searching for meaning and searching for love and kept thinking I had found it, only I was absolutely wrong and it was the same vicious cycle, over and over again. Not just looking for love, but career-wise, I was stuck in the wrong job with an abusive boss, and this was what the rest of my life looked like. Floating from one relationship to another, from one job to another looking for meaning.

My biggest fear is being caught up in all of that again. I. Just. Can't.

I've found my reason for being in this place. Has it been perfect? Absolutely not. But I woke up each morning and I did it and for the first time in my life, I felt ALIVE.

So saying goodbye...it's a process. I'm grieving. I know this because, tonight I miss my dad. When you lose someone, the wind gets knocked out of you. The way you breathe, the way your heart beats is changed forever. At least that's what happened for me. I literally feel a weight on my chest, I miss my dad so bad I can't breathe. I know this isn't about my dad though. I'm just grieving. I'm saying goodbye.

I miss Bethel. I miss Redding, I miss California so bad I can't breathe. I miss the promise it holds and the life I've lived. I miss all the dreams I had that haven't come true yet. I miss it with every ounce of my being. I'm excited to go home. It's my home. I have hope for my city. I love my culture. I love Nairobi. But, this place has my heart, this is Home and leaving it, well, it takes the wind out of me, and my breath will never be the same.

God, I hope I come back.

Kris.V.Opened.The.Door.For.Me!

So I've been here 9 months now & still getting rocked to the very last second. Something happened this weekend that touched me so much that I had to write about it. It might not seem like a huge deal, it really isn't and I can't explain why it's so significant that I had to write about it...actually, I've SOZO'd myself & read Bethel books so much I can probably explain why it's so significant to me, but I'm sure nobody wants to hear any of that...anyway...here's the life-changing event...

Kris.Vallotton.Opened.The.Door.For.Me!

I don't mean supernaturally, paving the way or anything like that...he's done enough of that in class already. I mean literally opened the door. I was walking up behind him into Church, he saw me, he took a step back and held the door open for me to go in before him. I mean, there's being a gentleman, which is maybe just holding the open door after he was already inside. But, then there's being a man and showing off just how much of a gentleman you can be...in a good way. Going above & beyond.

It's such a small thing, stepping back & holding the door open. It's the same feeling I get when guys from school run ahead & open their car doors for me. It's being esteemed above the slight temporary inconvenience. It's being honored & valued for absolutely no reason other than the fact that God created me as a woman and them as a man.

So, I have to thank Kris & all the awesome men at BSSM (& the grandpa down the street who cheers me on when I'm running) who've showered me with honor without any idea they were doing it. To the men's small group that adopted my women's small group & arranged communion for us, sang and prophesied over us, just to show us love. All of you guys changed my life. Literally. I've always been taught that men like you don't exist & I was dreaming thinking they do but because you're here and you're REAL you've made me see who I am in God's eyes & who I can be. You've restored the standard. There's no going back from that.

Thank You!

Italy Mission Trip Day 3 - Saturday

This morning, we had a bit of a team debrief at the Convento. This is the point I was praising the Lord saying, "what life is this I'm living, where I wake up in the morning and find out I'm going to Switzerland!" God is so Good!!! So we were split up into teams. Team 1 left for Varese & Switzerland, (with me) and Team 2 left for Asti.

We arrived at New Vision Varese Church and I have never been welcomed so warmly in my life. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. I wasn't even thinking about how I would hande the language barrier, but somehow it all worked out. So we met our hosts and we had lunch with them. Boy, was that  spread!!!

So we were just chilling at the Church with the community and with a couple of the worship team members. It was raining but they decided to take us out to explore the city. They took us to what is apparently the best gelato in the world! The place was called Romano. I got a lemon gelato. It was really good.

 After some walking, we were heading to Switzerland. I was in the car with 2 Americans, a Canadian and an Italian. The border patrol officer asked us where we were from and our leader said, "Redding", the officer said, "Ah, I know Redding." I found that to be pretty cool :-)

New Vision in Mendrisio, Switzerland was beautiful. It was in a hotel conference room, there was artwork on the walls. I loved it.

Finally, some ministry updates! We prayed and got ready to minister. It was awesome to hear the hearts of some of my team members. We soaked for a bit & headed out. I felt incredibly comfortable & was saying hello to strangers.

We were activated in prophetic art & asked to draw some pictures to give out. When we were introduced, I got to share my picture which was a bad report cancelled out, with a big heart over it and a good report on the other side with streamers and balloons. I explained the word as someone had gotten a bad report at work and God was saying He has His eye over the situation and He's writing a new report so I asked if anyone there was facing that situation and 2 people raised their hands, but sadly only had 1 picture. (Looking back, I should have prayed for both of them and not just released the word of knowledge I got)

We also got to activate the kids there in prophetic art. It was amazing, those kids just grabbed the mics, no nerves at all and interpreted their pictures.

At the end of the night, we had ministry time. I paired up with Alissa, a 3rd year student, who is an amazing prophetic voice!

One woman came up who wanted us to pray for her son & a possibly bad relationship & a lot of other family relationships. I felt it really strongly I needed to love & appreciate her as a mom. Alissa went first & said she came here for her son, but God brought her here for herself. God wanted to honor and love her. Alissa called out all the gold in her and she was in tears. Then I took over and told her God honors and loves mothers. As a prophetic act, I knelt and rubbed her feet and told her to imagine me washing her feet as a sign of honor. She was wrecked.

A man came up who had diabetes and we prayed for him, he had no way of testing it out. His other request was to be a plane of the Holy Spirit. I pulled a Chuck Perry and asked him if he liked wine...lol, I don't know what I was thinking...anyway, he said yes. I told him the Holy Spirit is like wine. You can either pour yourself a little shot glass or you can pour a whole barrel. Then I asked him to imagine himself drinking out of a barrel. I don't know how well that translated, lol. I was getting a little joy-filled myself and he started laughing and we told him, he doesn't have to do anything or try hard, he just has to be himself.

A couple came up next and the girl was proper crying and I was a little freaked out, like, what's going on here? She told us basically that they were so in love and they just wanted to serve God and needed wisdom. I LOVED THAT! That was my favorite. Lord, lead us to a place where love & how to best serve you is our greatest problem! We just encouraged them that they already knew the answers and that they needed to communicate & share their hearts with each other , and we got to minister over them.

A girl came up next 7 before she told us anything, I could tell she was full of compassion & would lead people out of that. She wanted God to make her taller. We prayed, by this point I was expecting to open my eyes and see a 6 ft tall girl, but she didn't grow. Instead we called out who she was and showed her how much influence she had already and how she should be confident in God using her whether shes this height or that.

These are just a couple of the amazing things that happened in Switzerland, hopefully, I'll put some more stories up soon.

Next the New Vision Senior Pastor took us out for dinner. Pizza!

The chef posed for my camera :-)

The saddest fish I've ever seen

Calzones the size of your head!

The dessert waiter was hilarious! (I had Tiramisu btw)

At the end of the night, which was around 1a.m, we were taken to our host home. One of the other girls and me don't like cats, well, actually she has allergies, so the 2 of us went to Mirrella's house. The other 4 girls went to one of the worship leader girls house and slept out in a RV truck, fun times...but I loved my warm beautiful bedroom with the most wonderful, kindest woman ever - Mirrella. The boys got it pretty good too and slept in a fancy loft with a view. Anyway, all this to say, we were pretty spoiled with their hospitality. This church was amazing.

We set our alarms for 10:00 am.

Italy Mission Trip Day 1/2 - Thursday & Friday

For some reason I got so whacked last night, just praying for this trip. Elizabeth & I ended up dancing to Jesus Culture in the living room & talking till late sharing dreams. God's already at work!

Unfortunately I had a bit of a cold the last couple of days, but who cares, trip day is here and one way or another, this body WILL GET WELL! I woke up at 5 am today, one from not being able to breathe through my nose, two to get an extra shot or Apple Cider Vinegar, three out of EXCITEMENT! 8 am rolled in and Julie drove me to Bethel. I forgot my phone so I was late.

Well, we were on our way to San Fran to catch our flight. The drive went by so quick because I was asleep almost all the way, but I woke up in time to see some of the city and I loved it, its so beautiful. I also caught a glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge. Our flight was at 4:25pm

Boarding the Plane. See those swollen eyes? I was so sick, I felt like I was gonna faint. We went to a sandwich shop in SFO and I felt a little better...my nose being blocked though led to some intense pain during landing - like, brink of tears pain & having a blocked ear for a couple hours.

Oh my gosh, I didn't need a sleeping pill, Bob put me right to sleep, no offense to Reggae lovers, I mean it in the best way!

Charles Du Galle Airport! We're in PARIS!!!

We were supposed to land in Florence at 3pm, but we were re-routed to Pisa. I was cool with the impromptu 1 hour shuttle tour :-)

Once we got to Florence, we were set free to explore, grab some food. We ended up at this fancy restaurant & I ordered pizza of course. Well, if you're like me and like a loaded pizza with 8 toppings and extra cheese, you'll quickly realize, that's not what pizza is in Italy. Pizza is simply amazing crust, sauce, mozzarella, a couple of thin slices of prosciutto/ham and you're done. I broke the rules & got extra mushrooms on mine though.

Doesn't this look exactly like Moi Avenue in Nairobi?!!

I was so exhausted by this point. Finally we were on our way home to the convento in Viarreggio, where I promptly collapsed into my top bunk.

Treasure Hunts, Trader Joe's & Victoria Secret Legs!

Treasure Hunts Today!!!

Treasure hunts are my city service/activation. Basically, a team of 3-5 people fill out a treasure map, which is a list of clues about who God is highlighting to us at that particular time. So today on my list, I had a bunch of stuff among them I had, red & white striped shirt. So we went downtown to a coffee shop which was on my team mates list & found a girl in the shirt I wrote down! So we went up & prayed for a few things for her & prophesied over her that was really cool

The boys also found this guy who had just moved to Redding & prayed and prophesied over him and when they came back & told me, I was like, "No way, I had 'moved to a new city' on my treasure map" It would have been so cool for the guy to see that & know he really was God's treasure for the day just as an added bonus!

Afterward, we had class & were prayed over & released for our mission trips!!! #6daystoitaly

We had a Trader Joes run and I got their Turkey burgers & honey wheat buns & handsome cut french fries.

 

I was craving some In n Out & figued I could satisfy my cravings in a healthier way than animal fries & animal style burger. I just packed the burger with spring mix & cut the cheese. Oh yeah, it hit the spot!!!

I also had some of this...crack in a plastic bag! These are so good. I've never had kettle corn until meeting my housemate Julie, the thought of sugar in popcorn made me sick, but now, OMG Kenya you don't know what you're missing! Nobody does it better than Trader Joe's!

My workouts for the day included walking 2.1 miles to school in the morning and...

these were some amazing stretches for my poor, sore strong body! I don't know what it is about working out & eating semi-well...I feel hot! I know I have probably not lost 100 pounds, but I feel so strong & confident. My legs probably look the same, but I feel like a freaking Victoria Secret Model walking the runway. Exercise is a great self-esteem boost. It's the weekend tomorrow, I just might go on a little run, at the very least a brisk walk. I never thought I'd say this, but, I'm probably packing workout clothes to Italy as well. Let's see if I can do a couple of workouts in the land of pasta and gelato!

x

Jo

Small Goups, Worldchangers & Yoga

Today was a superb day! We had small group at Sundial Bridge & a few of the boys decided to honor us girls & invited us to their small group for communion & to prophesy over us.

So we walked down a trail I haven't been on, past the exhibition center & woah! You guys, I found the place where Jesus must hang out in Redding. This little place off the trail, where the river is really shallow & it's really quiet, you can hear the water over the rocks, it's really beautiful. It was like a 15 minute walk, so I figured this would be my first workout of the day.

The guys gave us some really encouraging words & sang over us "we love you, we'll never stop, all this is for you, beautiful daughters". I've never been so blessed in my life. It's one thing for someone to stop you on the street & give you a word, it's a whole other thing when a group of men is intentional about pursuing you, simply to encourage you & honor you. Obviously, this isn't my culture, not the culture I grew up in. Only here in Redding have I really learned what it means to be honored & loved by these incredible men, who love me just because I'm me & they see greatness & me and aren't afraid to say it, not expecting anything back, not to hit on me or get my number or take advantage of me or anything, just because they just love me and honor me. They teach me to look at myself the way Jesus looks at me...these guys are the gospel, they are the Kingdom with skin on.

If you can't tell yet, I'm in love. I was praying telling God, I came here for a lot of reasons, top of which was to find love & to be loved. I can say without a doubt, I found love & have been loved in my Revival Group, in my intern, in my old housemates, Brentt, Laura & Makari, in Redding, in Bethel. I've fallen in love with this church, city & culture. Although, I was joking in my prayer, saying, I should have been more specific...I wanted a husband! But God has given me way more than I could have ever asked or imagined. I grow more & more in love everyday. Sometimes, I get into worship and I'm like, "Woah, my love has grown, I can't believe I love you this much now..."

Anyway, enough of the mushy business. In other news, I wrote a letter to the Kenya missions team. I just felt led to bless them & encourage them, I was a little peeved that they hadn't reached out to me because my Thai roommate was invited to speak to the Thai missions team, so I was like, "what's up with that?" and God asked me, "What's up with YOU?! You do it!" So, that was fun to bless them & pray for them. I also baked some brownie muffins for my Kenyan friends, Eric & Anne, dang, those babies were good! If I do say so myself! It was awesome to do that for them. I've been planning to for months & it only took me like 35 minutes, so I'm definitely doing that again. Maybe, I'll make some treats for revival group!

I was so sore from the dance last night, so I thought I'd just do some yoga & found Jillian Michaels. First off, Jillian Michaels, this isn't yoga. Yoga is calm & relaxing, this is full on strength & cardio! Anyway, this was my final workout of the day, which I laughed so hard in, enjoyed & COMPLETED thanks to my other housemate Julie doing it with me! Shout out!

x
Jo

St. Patrick's Day Ceili

My friend Karen from Ireland invited us to a ceili i.e. a big Irish/Scottish dance party at Church tonight. It was tons of fun and definitely enough of a work out for me! JP was playing drums, and if you know anything about Bethel Music, you know JP Gentile is probably hands down, on of THE best instrumentalists in the world ever! Honestly, is there nothing JP can't play?! I haven't met him yet, but I will...soon...lol

Anyway, the dance was so fun & having my Revival Group family there made it tons better! I had my green jeans on and I was ready to dosie doh like it was 2004!

Steph Soh Photography

Steph Soh Photography

 

 

So yeah, this was both my fun night out & my exercise for the day...because sometimes, if not all the time, the best workout is a night out with your friends!

x
Jo

A Captive of Familiarity

"When you choose to embrace a lie to bring you peace, you make a covenant with the spirit of that lie to comfort you. The devil's ministry is to steal, kill and destroy. Whenever we embrace one of these three elements that is is ministry, we invite demonic spirits to oppress us." Kris Vallotton - Spirit Wars, page 154 (paraphrased)

We've gone through a ton of deliverance stuff in 1st year. At the tail end of my school year though, I've entered a somewhat difficult season. With mission trip financial pressures and the lingering questions, "did I get what I came for?" or "what's gonna happen next?" plague my mind, I've realized how easy it is to slip back into what Bethel "lingo" describes as 'familiar spirits'.

Personally, for me, with a history of depression, depression is my comfort. Staying in bed, checking out physically & emotionally, solitude, moodiness, being quiet & withdrawn...that's my go-to. That's what I find easy to embrace to bring me peace; which is quite sick, because none of these things bring me peace, but that's just how the mind works. When I chose to embrace that lie, I make a covenant with the familiar spirit of depression to comfort me, only the devil's comfort is in reality torture. In my solitude & withdrawn-ess, the lies come quick & easy. "I'm not good enough." "I'm not pretty enough", "I'm not worth the investment", "My life is going nowhere" "I have no plan"...I could go on and on...

So, Kris in his book writes this prayer, which probably more people than just me need to repeat :-)

"Jesus, forgive me for making a covenant with the devil by inviting depression to comfort me. Thank you that you gave me the Holy Spirit, who is my comforter & my friend."
"You spirit of depression, I break my agreement with you. I no longer want you in my life. I command you to leave now in Jesus name!" (page 154)

You know what? It's gone...it's really gone!

COVENANT: PASSION AND SACRIFICE by Kris Vallotton

The goal of covenant is that 2 would become 1.

Luke 6:2-7 Jesus tells us to love those who can’t love us back, do good to those who can’t do good to us and credit will be given to us. The word credit is 110 times translated as grace. As soon as you obey, grace is given to you to do what you couldn’t do 1 second before you made the choice to love those you couldn’t love. Sometimes the world hates us just to see if we have love.

The Bible doesn’t say arise and reflect, it says arise and shine. I don’t need your love to give it back to you, I have a source of love that you don’t even have. 

David serves Saul well but jealousy, bitterness, unforgiveness and hatred stir up and Saul begins to chase David. Unforgiveness has no friends. The people you wanna love, you’ll hate. In the midst of Saul chasing David, the Lord gives David a word, that He’s gonna give Saul into his hands, and he can decide what to do with him. David’s men want to kill Saul & David says “Far be it from me to touch the Lord’s anointed”.  Saul says, “You are a better man than me and you deserve the kingdom.” But he’s so angry and bitter that a spirit of insanity comes upon him. He goes after him again, same thing happens. David is anointed King, he has Jonathan’s robe, He has the word of God, yet, David says “I choose to honor him even if he doesn’t deserve it. I choose to love the person who doesn’t love me.”

We live in a world that’s all about making me happy. Happy is about pleasure. Pleasure is good as long as it doesn’t take the place of virtue. If it does, I’d rather take joy instead because I can consider it joy when I face various trials, but I can’t consider it happy. To ruin a perfectly good marriage, try to get your spouse to make you happy.

Covenant expresses itself in camaraderie, but not all camaraderie is rooted in covenant. Fellowship rooted in warfare is fuelled in hatred not forged in love e.g. gangs, bullies. Camaraderie without covenant always needs an enemy. Covenant needs no enemy because it lays down its life for its friends. When a culture of covenant is absent from a community, society adapts an ‘us & them’ mindset. Covenant destroys the ‘us & them’ mentality and bonds people through God’s love not mutual agreement. The Church shouldn’t be known for what we’re against, but for who we love.

2 Timothy 1:2 You can’t take suffering out of the gospel because suffering is a part if the Kingdom. Not sickness or death, but passion and sacrifice; it doesn’t always make you happy.

Be in the background, lay down your life & make it work! Passion won't make it work on hard days, but sacrifice will. Covenant makes no difference if you were in a tent or in a palace.

Lord, take me from camaraderie to covenant. Teach me to live in a way that I lay down my life not because I have to, not because I don't have rights but because I choose to take those rights and say you can have them; here's my armor, here's my robe, here's my sword, here's my bow and here's my belt. I'm not prepared to work against you or war against you, I covenant with you and in hard times I'll renew my covenant and remind you that I'm with you. In Jesus name. Amen

 

Miracles & A Good God!

Today I saw a woman who had a torn meniscus & couldn’t bend her knees, get up on stage and kneel down. Yep, you read that right. Wanna know what the best thing is? That isn’t even the half of it. I saw a woman who dances through her pain from severe arthritis worshiping God, get healed. I saw a woman whose body was so weak from having Parkinson’s disease for 5 years walk up on stage without her cane which she has used everyday coming to school. Today, she walked laps around the auditorium, jumped up during worship & testified of a good God!

don't need that cane anymore!

“God is good” isn’t just a call from stage for the church to respond, “all the time”! It’s the truth! God is good! Believe it!

Oh dear friends, believe it.

I was in a room full of people praying for friends who had one arm shorter than the other, I prayed an off-handed, “God please do it” not really believing it could happen, heck, I didn’t even stand up from my seat, I just did the standard, hand stretched out toward them thing we do in church. Two seconds later, I jumped up from my chair because I literally saw the shorter arm growing 2 inches to be the same length as the other. With my own frigging eyes! I saw a drunk man give his life to Jesus.

As my friend so aptly put it, this is the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry dang it! And we believe in a good God!

I saw a room full of people today, with their arms stretched out to celebrate and adore their Savior. God isn’t just laid back on His recliner basking in the praises of His people; He’s on the edge of His seat, raring to move when His people finally start believing & declaring who HE IS. He called Himself Healer. We didn’t call Him that, He said, word for word, I am the Lord who heals! He called Himself Provider, I’m not putting this label on Him He said, I will surely provide. 

I should know...I'm an international student. I can't work. I can't just call home for money, but this is my 5th month here & the bills are getting paid. I don't know how, but it happens. He called Himself Provider, His will, His bill.

I saw a woman. People look at Heidi Baker & admire all the work she’s done and the sacrifices she’s made being a missionary in Mozambique. I saw her deep, deep love for Jesus. Nothing stood between her and Jesus. All she did, she did for the love of Jesus. When she smiles, she reminds you that Jesus smiles. 

Painting by Theresa Dedmon (Compelled by Love The Movie)

The savior smiles! That’s the picture we need in the front of our Churches, not a forlorn savior with His hand on His heart, or worse, a crucified savior hanging on a cross. A smiling Jesus who delights in His children. In His friends. A good God who gives good gifts!

PS:

You can read about my life moving from Nairobi, Kenya to Redding, California and read about my Mission Trip to spread more of the good news that God is Good, to Piemonte & Naples in Italy this March. The trip costs $2550 & so far I've raised $255 and need to make my 2nd payment in 2 short days. Here's the link, and the link to donate!