I was in a really strict boarding school in High School, we exchanged hand-made cards and wrote each other dedications on the blackboard during evening preps and buy each other tuck-shop snacks like scones, smokies, crisps, bajias, and if you were really lucky someone would have saved a chocolate bar for you J It got to a point where we were banned from singing happy birthday after some kids were caught singing happy birthday really loudly.
Pangani Girls' High School Badge
Sorry, really bad picture but its all i could find
Before High School, my dad was the birthday enthusiast and he and my mom arranged all my birthday parties. (Read: my dad would agree with me and my mom would buy snacks and do all the heavy-lifting) Mostly it would be our family together with my Auntie’s family with her two kids, sometimes it would be a party for all the kids in my neighborhood.
Birthdays were a big deal with my dad and I remember being a kid and him making decorations and hanging them up and taking millions of pictures. It was special. My best memories of my dad are centered on holidays and birthdays. That’s why birthdays and holidays are so important to me, and I wish people would understand that, it’s not about being a brat and seeking attention. It’s the one day of the year that’s yours. We have Cancer Day and AIDS day and Water Day and Labor Day and Valentines, and we celebrate each of them, and you have one day of the year that’s your own day, and call me a dork, but I think it’s pretty special and sometimes it feels like my dad’s the only one in my family who got that. Now that he’s gone, it makes for some pretty lonely moments, but awesome memories.
I can do anything but I can’t recreate what it was like with him. I truly felt celebrated and loved, like (I believe) you’re supposed to feel on your birthday and I’ve tried to make it happen for years:
18th birthday House Party fiasco: My best friend at the time, Kevin helped me plan this one. My dad was in Shaggz and my mom was out with her friends. People wanted alcohol and to smoke in my house where my parents live! If that wasn’t enough, someone stole my phone in my own house! At the time I’d turned 18 (legal drinking age) and I didn’t mind the drinking and smoking, I even had my first taste of KC vodka (which I hated, I hope my family doesn’t read this, hee) but honestly, smoking inside the house, leaving smoke stinking up the furniture, that’s just ridiculous, so I had to kick guys out then a fight broke out, crazy! Then, I couldn’t even play the music I wanted (rock) because they were all about ragga and dancehall. Then there’s the walking around making sure everyone’s comfortable, ugh! Not to mention, most of my friends at the time were guys, which made for a lot of organizing when the number of boys who showed up ended up being more than the girls.
19th birthday Expensive Pizza party: Went to Debonairs Pizza and bought almost 8 large pizzas with some new church friends, trying to make new friends on your birthday probably wasn’t my best idea. It’s just that I’d started going to this Church and all my other friends were the party and rager type (read 18th) and I wanted a “”“Christian Birthday””” …Plus sick dad at home.
20th birthday deadbeat ex-boyfriend, whose birthday was a week after mine, and we’d agreed to celebrate together…I went to so much trouble for him and his gifts and he decides, on the night of his birthday to go out with his boys and on what was supposed to be our party the next night, he takes me to his friends party, he’s exhausted and he gets high and doesn’t even notice when I’m practically attacked by some female cop and oh, never got me a gift…deadbeat! I mean, no offence, Christianity, forgiveness and all :-)
21st birthday stuck at work all day, got coffee and cake with a friend afterward, pretty good, at least there’s no bitter memories, (read 20th)
I had mixed feelings about the 22nd after all this, but it ended up being pretty awesome :-)
Details tomorrow....
xx
Jo
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