Stewardship = Investment

Something God has been speaking to me a lot recently is on stewardship. One of my goals in life is to be a good steward. I've lived under a poverty mentality all of my life, if it's not living in poverty, it's been running from poverty. I feel like I got a lot of freedom from that, this whole orphan mentality of spending as soon as you get money or hoarding it and hiding it away. I think I've found a happy medium. Sometimes though, I feel a bit of poverty creeping in. I currently stay in a country where I'm not allowed to be employed legally and can't earn any money while pursuing the dreams and desires of my heart. You'd think this would be an awesome vacation, not having to work Woo! No. It actually sucks. I had a horrible job before coming here but the feeling of earning a paycheck...I miss that feeling.

So here I am, I can't earn any money, money's tighter than it ever has been, so to show God I'm a "good steward of the little" so He can give me more, I strive and struggle and skimp and I find the more tightly I hold on for control, the more it all falls apart. Suddenly the bank charges you an amount you hadn't planned for or the electric bill comes in higher than you planned. 

Another funny one is, I'm not a big fan of peanut butter, but sandwiches are a way of life as a student, so I can handle almond butter. PB is $3, AB is $5, so what should I get? PB is cheaper so get the PB right? This is what I did. I got home, opened it, tasted it, hated it. So, my idea of stewardship ended up costing me $3 being stuck eating something I hate instead of adding the $2 and actually eating something I enjoy.

I could give you example after example of things I've bought because I thought a cheaper price tag meant stewardship and they all ended up being more wastes of money than if I had bought what was actually on my heart that I needed to buy. From 99ct avocados that all went bad in 2 days to other products that would be tmi 😉

I know this is a way of life for a lot of people and I understand the privilege of shopping for anything at all. I appreciate the struggle but I'd be lying if I said I could reconcile this struggle with the God who paints the most lavish, extravagant sunsets. I mean, why all the fanfare? Wouldn't a cosmic light bulb hanging on the end of a string switched on and off be enough? Yet He weaves together clouds and color and beauty. It's obvious God and poverty don't exist in the same world.

Yet here I am. Trying hard to hold on when the facts are staring at me dead in the face. The world would look at me, as I do sometimes and say, "It's time to live in the real world, go home, get a job". The thing is, this is my real world. Bethel, BSSM, this place saved my life, literally. I was hopeless and suicidal before that awesome day I saw Kim Walker Smith singing into my soul and leading me to my 1st encounter with God. I was cyclically depressed for my entire life until the day Bill Johnson prayed and I felt the power of God through the screen and I ended up laughing on the floor of my room in Nairobi for a straight hour. God could have touched me anywhere through anyone but this is what He chose and what has worked for me right now. This is the realest life for me.

God is teaching me stewardship isn't management, it's investing in what brings increase. Management puts me in the drivers seat, investing puts Him in it because when you invest, that money isn't in your hands anymore, its on what Management does with the investment.

One of my callings is brainstorming missions, especially to Africa because that's where I'm from. God is also showing me that the business world has more faith in Africa than the Church because the business world believes in investing but the church believes in giving. Investing is a huge deal and I feel like I'm investing into my future and my family's future and in a way the world, because the world can be the person down the street or at the store or it can be an entire nation. Pastors lose credibility for asking people to give, personally, I've lost family because they equated my being here as me gearing up to ask them for handouts and charity. For all that God has done for me, I don't need that.

I'm in the right place. I can't convince you of that with any number of words, but I pray my life shows it.

If you would like to invest in me, I can't promise you a nation or my continent, but I can promise you myself. I'm showing up where I need to show up. I'm being who He made me to be. I'm loving myself and the people around me. If you'd like to join my family that God's given me this past year, invest in me for me and financially support this journey of volunteering and seeing His faithfulness and saying yes and going where He leads me around the world and back and kicking the enemy's butt because he really just pisses me off! Please email joanmainaworks@gmail.com for more information or postal address.

Blessings & Peace to your house.