Small Goups, Worldchangers & Yoga

Today was a superb day! We had small group at Sundial Bridge & a few of the boys decided to honor us girls & invited us to their small group for communion & to prophesy over us.

So we walked down a trail I haven't been on, past the exhibition center & woah! You guys, I found the place where Jesus must hang out in Redding. This little place off the trail, where the river is really shallow & it's really quiet, you can hear the water over the rocks, it's really beautiful. It was like a 15 minute walk, so I figured this would be my first workout of the day.

The guys gave us some really encouraging words & sang over us "we love you, we'll never stop, all this is for you, beautiful daughters". I've never been so blessed in my life. It's one thing for someone to stop you on the street & give you a word, it's a whole other thing when a group of men is intentional about pursuing you, simply to encourage you & honor you. Obviously, this isn't my culture, not the culture I grew up in. Only here in Redding have I really learned what it means to be honored & loved by these incredible men, who love me just because I'm me & they see greatness & me and aren't afraid to say it, not expecting anything back, not to hit on me or get my number or take advantage of me or anything, just because they just love me and honor me. They teach me to look at myself the way Jesus looks at me...these guys are the gospel, they are the Kingdom with skin on.

If you can't tell yet, I'm in love. I was praying telling God, I came here for a lot of reasons, top of which was to find love & to be loved. I can say without a doubt, I found love & have been loved in my Revival Group, in my intern, in my old housemates, Brentt, Laura & Makari, in Redding, in Bethel. I've fallen in love with this church, city & culture. Although, I was joking in my prayer, saying, I should have been more specific...I wanted a husband! But God has given me way more than I could have ever asked or imagined. I grow more & more in love everyday. Sometimes, I get into worship and I'm like, "Woah, my love has grown, I can't believe I love you this much now..."

Anyway, enough of the mushy business. In other news, I wrote a letter to the Kenya missions team. I just felt led to bless them & encourage them, I was a little peeved that they hadn't reached out to me because my Thai roommate was invited to speak to the Thai missions team, so I was like, "what's up with that?" and God asked me, "What's up with YOU?! You do it!" So, that was fun to bless them & pray for them. I also baked some brownie muffins for my Kenyan friends, Eric & Anne, dang, those babies were good! If I do say so myself! It was awesome to do that for them. I've been planning to for months & it only took me like 35 minutes, so I'm definitely doing that again. Maybe, I'll make some treats for revival group!

I was so sore from the dance last night, so I thought I'd just do some yoga & found Jillian Michaels. First off, Jillian Michaels, this isn't yoga. Yoga is calm & relaxing, this is full on strength & cardio! Anyway, this was my final workout of the day, which I laughed so hard in, enjoyed & COMPLETED thanks to my other housemate Julie doing it with me! Shout out!

x
Jo

Thoughts at Midnight

In trying to stick to my commitment of writing up all the goodness I get to hear and be a part of daily, here I am at 12:05AM doing a recap of Saturday.

I have to say, it was a great day! I slept in till about 10AM, which is just what you do on Saturday in California. (Despite how much I planned to go on a run) I listened to some music, did my laundry, met a great girl who came over to the house and then kinda just chilled for the rest of the day. I was planning a movie night for a couple of people from my Revival Group and I'm just praying I get a car so I can pick up all these people who need rides but struggle to find them! (Like me :-)) so I can pick them up and shuttle them over to my house :-)

My landlords, friends, family here is amazing and allowed me to invite a couple of people over and I hope to do that some more because there's something INCREDIBLE about community and having Jesus just show up like He said He would where people in His name are gathered. His presence always come down, and I'm just so into hosting that :-) Anyway, I'm skipping ahead...

I went to In n Out with a few friends and I learned so much about love. Loving the people who don't get any love from anybody else. People can say no to attending a Church service, or getting prayed over, but few people can say no to no-strings-attached love. So, we were just talking about loving the community, and it really impacted me because these people really DO it. Open their doors to strangers and have their home be "Holy car washes" where people just walk through the door and get showered in the Holy Spirit. I was just asking God can I do that? Despite my fears for my space/safety, can He make me brave?

After that a couple of guys came over for my little movie night and we watched Finger of God. It was kind of cool to see the scenes set in Redding and be like, "oh, I know that place, I know where that is!" After the movie, we were just talking about what we learned from it and love, time & prayer were the major themes my friends brought up.

Love in the sense of how our love is what changes the nations. Love truly is the most powerful force on earth. Kids know this. Kids know, Jesus loves me, so He will heal me. Jesus loves me, so He will give this person a new kidney. They know this until we as adults train them otherwise. Love is simple and strong, just like Jesus.

Time is the one I struggle most with. Prioritizing time for prayer. I hate saying that, because it's not a task to check off a list. It's a conversation with the person I'm the luckiest to get to have a conversation with! It's as much a priority as breathing is.

Right now at school, we're told to rest and not go out into the streets and preach - that's kind of what BSSM is known for and what most people are itching to go out and do. However, Jesus taught us that most wars are won in the secret place much earlier than they are in public. Now in my prayer closet, I can pray for specific things, specific people - people I may not necessarily know and still see healing in their lives. I can practice the prophetic now without even seeing or touching the person and pray into that. I can practice my prayer language now, before I do it in front of anyone else. I get to balance that out with general prayers for what I might not know I need but that the Spirit can work with and contend for what I need - again, with this opportunity of sharing your heart with the one who loves you, how can I struggle with prayer and prioritize God?! He IS the priority. Not catching up on the latest TV shows on Hulu! (That's for me, lol)

So anyway, here I am, thinking on these things and about to pray. First and foremost for God giving me such an amazing friend, (Rhonelda!) and for surrounding me with some RIDICULOUSLY amazing world changers in my Revival Group. Thanks guys for coming over, you totally blessed my heart!

Community

Disclaimer: Kris Vallotton is one of my favorite pastors and (if he knew me) would totally be disappointed in what I’m about to write because he’s all about community and not believing in lies about your identity but I’ll just write it anyway because this is just how my week has been.

I’m not a very social person. It’s just in my DNA, I don’t tend to make friends with everyone or go above and beyond to bond with everyone in a room. I talk to a lot of people and since I was a kid in kindergarten I’ve always been in the “popular crowd”, but mostly because I was friends with the most popular girl and they made me popular. But really at my core, I’m a loner, which is why it’s so weird now when I meet people from school they’re like, “I wanted to talk to you back then but you were always in that crowd and didn’t want to talk to me” when it’s me who felt like that.

That popularity gene started dying off in my 2^ndyear of High School when I was friends with a popular girl and got BURNED! By then I’d kinda found my own niche and didn’t really feel the need to hang with so and so to feel good about myself. I enjoyed school a lot more after that although my extra-curricular activities still placed me in a position where I wasn’t too obscure.

Fast forward to today where...
to make friends I have to actively pursue it. These past years in college I’ve made some really good friends, but now as we’re leaving, I think the crowd is somewhat tapering off which is good in a way because there are some people who we just grew in different directions, but there are others who to be honest, this separation process is killing me.

Then there are the friendships that you try and make and try to bond with people but they just don’t seem interested in letting you in. I get that sometimes you’re kinda off in your own world, I’m like that sometimes, but it still hurts when someone isn’t receptive or returning the same courtesy when they don’t even know you – like, they aren’t interested in what you have to offer or they just don’t like you for whatever reason.

This is why this hurts me when I’m the one calling and texting and initiating conversations and the other person isn’t – it devalues me. I know this is where Kris V would say, your identity is in Christ, you have value because it’s God who assigns value.

It hurts me because I am a good friend, I care about people, I include people. Like now being in worship team, some people might perceive me as joining a “restricted clique” but I’m always quick to dismiss that and ask for their number to tell them when auditions come up. When someone looks like they don’t fit in, I go up grab their hand and include them. When my friends go through stuff, I care about them like it’s my problem. When it’s my friends’ birthday, I’ll throw them a party. I go above and beyond looking for gifts that’ll make that other person get that surprised-oh-my- gosh-I-can’t-believe-you-care-that-much-about-me-face. I LOVE that face!

All I’m asking is when will it be my turn.

I hate this excuse people give, “If they want to hang out with me, they should tell me.” I had a youth pastor who said the same thing, “If you want me to mentor you or advise you, you have to tell me I won’t look for you.” This same pastor did nothing to seek me out when my dad died. It’s a little extreme of an example but based on that premise, can I propose that it’s easier to open the door for someone on the outside from the inside than to have that person knock on the door standing out in the cold.

At youth group when I finally made it into “a circle” or when I passed my audition for worship team, I said in a couple of meetings, “Now that we’re here and we’ve made it, let’s make it easier for those who’ll come after us and include them and not make them feel like they’re stuck in the outside group when we’re in this other group.” 

I try to live by that, to live by caring for others and trying to care for them the way I’d like to be cared for, reaching beyond my comfort zone so they can feel free to reach beyond theirs. I’m hurt, I’ve been hurt this week because I feel like all that energy is flowing out of me, but none is flowing in. I get that God replenishes what we pour out for Him, but I need Him to do it through my friends.

God, I need friends who are family to me. I need to be surrounded by people who feel like I feel and do like I do, like you do. The biggest messes I’m in, I’m in because I didn’t have such friendships in my life or because I made dumb choices on who I allowed to be my friends. God, I need strength to keep putting myself out there even when I get knocked down because I just can’t and at this point I’d rather save my energy and not bother. Yes, this week has also been about fear but now I realize my biggest fears are about being disappointed in this area of community. The fear that you just don’t have the motivation to put me in enriching relationships and friendships; the fear that you don’t think I’m worth the ride or die friends. You see my dreams and visions are based somewhat on these connections and I just don’t think you’ll do it. So I’ve been afraid and I want(ed) to quit, but I won’t. You’ve made me see all this for a reason and I’ve just got to trust you and lean into that.

There’s a line between you saying, “Joanne trust me, I am not a human that I should lie or change my mind, have I ever spoken and failed to act or promised anything and not carried it through? I am all you need, put your trust in me,” and, “there are many parts in one body, seek out other parts.” (Numbers 23:19 and 1 Corinthians 12:12) So yeah, you might be teaching me how to walk this line, but as you are, please also pay attention to how I feel right now. My heart is just tired. I long for authenticity and pursuit not for any other reason, but simply because someone sees in me what you see in me and gives me a chance.

Amen

God Bless, 

Jo

My 5 Love Languages

You've all heard of the 5 love languages? Every body has a specific set of qualities or "languages" that translate into how best that person feels love. Basically, you can buy someone all the gifts in the world but they still don't feel like you love them because that's not their primary love language. Check it out here.

They have this quiz on their website, which obviously I did and these were my results:

1. Quality Time 10/12
2. Receiving Gifts 7/12
3. Words of Affirmation 5/12
4. Physical Touch 5/12
5. Acts of Service 3/12

This is actually quite spot on. Personally, I don't care how many texts you send, how long we can talk on the phone, or how well you can wine and dine me and shower me with gifts, to me, if you don't give up some of your time to spend with me, no big plans, but just meeting for the sake of meeting, I'm not going to feel secure in that relationship.

People complicate stuff. You live in Nairobi, we have parks all over the city, but someone decided walking in the park is shady and now people don't meet because guys are scared we're expecting fancy dinners. I always say, Java is great, but not all great relationships need to be built at Java. There's a time and place for fancy dinners and coffee, but also make room for the simple meet and greet, walk in the park, bum around town, go buy movies and stop for a soda somewhere. If you're in town shopping, ask the girl if she'd like to join you. Simple!

Also, depending on where you're at in your life, "come over we watch a movie" is not a date. When you're first getting to know someone, actually, I think this carries forward into until he's put a ring on it or at least is close to, avoid compromising situations and intimate moments. You should be getting to know each other, you'll have the rest of your lives (hopefully) to sit around the house alone watching movies, but right now, hang out in the sun, with friends/family, get to know each other. Get rained on waiting for a bus in town, conquer inconveniences like that together, build actual memories and experiences.

{at this point let me interject, unless you've dated for a long long time, it's not o.k to go to Imbiss fish and chips or those fast food joints with the high top chairs! Save that for your boys. If money is a problem, at least go to the places with the small tables and chairs - and pay the entire bill - no going Dutch/Splitsies}

Anyway, back to my languages, this is what they say on the website;

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving gifts obviously comes up next. You know the quote, "Whatever you invest your time and money into, therein your heart lies." Again, no big, grand, expensive thing. The best gift I've ever gotten from a guy was when a guy I dated wrote and read me a poem, he knew I was into poetry and song writing and he wrote one for me. I can't remember the words, it wasn't award winning in any way, but I've never forgotten that.

No surprise, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch rank hand in hand. I dated a guy who'd tell me the sweetest things and text the corniest lines, yet when we met up, he didn't hold my hand. I know it's crazy and means nothing to most people, but dadgum it, it means a lot to me. I love PDA, and if holding hands is the best you can do, then hold my freaking hand, throw your arm around me, make me feel like I'm not one of the guys or that girl in your class you have study group with, come on!

Acts of Service are awesome too, go out of your way to do something nice. Yeah I know it's a hassle waking up early to do something, or getting home late when all you wanted to do was chill, but in the grand scheme of things, you're not going to be like, "I wish I had slept more instead of..." or "I wish I didn't pay that fare or fuel the car going to..." unless you're dating a particularly annoying person, in which case that's another story. But if you're in a good relationship or you're hoping to build a good relationship, all the minor inconveniences you faced in getting where you want to go, trust me they won't matter in the long run. (They'll probably not matter in the short-run when you see your girl scream in surprise when you drop by to give her a hug after she's had a bad day, or see that smile or get that hug that says, "Oh my gosh, you did that for me", dude, you'll feel like a rock star! Not to mention score about a million points with him/her)

Obviously these mean nothing if there's no trust and commitment in your relationship and both of you aren't committed to building toward something and making it work. We'll look more at this tomorrow.

Make sure you drop by the website and do the quiz with your loved one.

21 Simple Rules.....for a Happy Household

1. You have both been raised to life with Christ, so set your hearts on the things that are in heaven, where Christ sits on his throne at the right side of God. 
2. Keep your minds fixed on things there, not on things here on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God, your real life is Christ and when he appears, then you too will appear with him and share his glory! 
3. You must put to death, then, the earthly desires at work in you, such as sexual immorality indecency, lust, evil passions, and greed (for greed is a form of idolatry). Because of such things God's anger will come upon those who do not obey him. At one time you yourselves used to live according to such desires, when your life was dominated by them, but now you must get rid of all these things: 
4. Keep watch above your anger, empty passions, and hateful feelings. No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips. 
5. Do not lie to one another, for you have put off the old self with its habits, and have put on the new self. This is the new being which God, its Creator, is constantly renewing in his own image, in order to bring you to a full knowledge of himself. 
6. Treat everyone equally, there is no longer any distinction between Gentiles and Jews, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarians, savages, slaves, and free, but Christ is all, Christ is in all. 
7. You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 
8. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone the other. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. 
9. And to all these qualities add love, which binds YOU together in perfect unity. 
10. Let the peace that Christ gives guide you in the decisions you make; for it is to this peace that God has called you together in the one body. 
11. Be thankful. 
12. Christ's message in all its richness must live in your hearts. Teach and instruct one another with all wisdom. 
13. Sing psalms, hymns, and sacred songs; sing to God with thanksgiving in your hearts. 
14. Everything you do or say, should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, as you give thanks through him to God the Father. 
15. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, for that is what you should do as Christians. 
16. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 
17. As children, it is your Christian duty to obey your parents always, for that is what pleases God. 
18. Parents, (both you and the in-laws) do not irritate your children, (do not also let the parents of one irritate the other), or they will become discouraged.  
19. As employees, obey your human employers in all things, not only when they are watching you because you want to gain their approval; but do it with a sincere heart because of your reverence for the Lord. 
20. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Remember that the Lord will give you as a reward what he has kept for his people. For Christ is the real Master you serve. 
21. And all wrongdoers will be repaid for the wrong things they do, because God judges everyone by the same standard.