Brain Dump

1. Just saw a guy who used to flirt with me, whom I haven't seen in over a year...the first thing he says to me is, "Wow, you've got a little pooch there, you've been eating well, enjoying life, huh?" He really didn't say it in a mean vindictive way, he's actually a sweet kid, but the fact that he said it SUCKS!!!

2. A street kid broke off the panel of my cars' back window, seriously, you guys talk about "the ghetto" and "skid row" you DO NOT know street kids until you're driving on that Kariokor/Ngara road. They will strip down your car looking you dead in the eye and you cant do a thing about it...AAARRGHHH!!! {Please note that Nairobi is a very safe place, I just happened to be in the wrong side of town and I'm just venting}

3. In relation to #1 above, I have indeed gained like 3kgs (6 pounds) in the last year since I moved back home (blaming mama's good eats here hehehe) and yes, I am concerned. Oh yeah and it's all gone to my face and a pretty significant muffin top situation. Guys, we have to do something!

4. I'm really excited to be in Worship Team. I really feel like I'm where God wants me to be. It's a total God thing and it's amazing to feel and know that - not really looking forward to the pressures of rehearsal or leading in front of 1000 people, but God'll handle that.

5. I haven't gone out on a date date for almost 6 months and I really don't want to. I mean, obviously, a part of me does but, not really...kinda liking the lack of stress in that department. A guy friend of mine tried to start up something and I said "Thanks" acted oblivious and walked away. This is the 1st thing I've ever committed to...a year for just me and making sure I'm ready for my amazing guy. Right now commitment would mean, not living my dreams when right now for the 1st time I'm doing what Joanne wants to do, I'm already on that road. Once I'm ready though, I'll be ready.

6. Being home alone in a big house sucks royally its quiet and echoey :-/ Really staying on guard with myself this week, not doing anything that'll set me off, I want this to be a great relaxing, non-emotional week, since I have no one to cry with if I watch sad movies. There'll be a lot of blogging, blog re-designs, Pinteresting and visiting my nephew.

7. God's been showing me this week, that He wants to be our dad...Abba-Daddy...I shouldn't be afraid of Him, or how He'll react to me. He isn't intimidated by mistakes...and really, when I mess up, do I really think God was on the edge of His seat not knowing what's coming next? Do I really think a dad would turn away in disgust? He's more determined to bless me than I am to impress Him. He's more into being in a relationship with me than I am with Him. He's more determined for me to be a success than I am. That's how I'd be with my kids and that's how God is with me.



xx
Jo

Clothes Week :: Oufit of The Day

I wore this to School last Tuesday, it was cold and Tuesday is technically my Monday since unlike the rest of the week, I'm at School from 9 to 5.

The jeans and shoes are new and I was really pleased with the fit. The red top thingy I've actually had since I was like 12 years old. It stretches and it hasn't aged at all...crazy huh? I wore the white vest underneath to connect the lightness if the jeans with the dark colors on top, also, the red top thingy undernath has a couple of white stripes, and of course the red pin-stripes for the red top, I liked how it came out :-)

 So what would we call this...office-casual?

xx
Jo

Clothes Week :: Shoes

 

Last week, I talked about my Pinterest tour and how I was seriously going to tackle updating my wardrobe. I totally did it and forced my mom to join me on a shopping trip last Saturday because to be honest no one haggles better than my mom.

I got these 4 pairs of flats...

 

And the piece de resistance (sp?)...

 

These were a little on the expensive side, but I figured they're versatile so I'd splurge a little for once in my life. They are super comfy and I LOVE them.


xx
Jo

Performance V. Experience

Wow, so where do I begin in catching up?!

Well, I guess the most exciting news this week is...I Made The Worship Team! {Read about the audition here and making it here :-)}

I am just super excited about that though I have no idea what it's going to be like, but I'm just trusting God for a while other great adventure in it.

I've really been feeling God's love today...I don't know what it is. I'm really excited that after a dry-spell like I talked about here and here, that I feel renewed and back on track. I think there's two things that reall helped me though:

Ministers fall when they're focused on their love for God instead of HIS love for them! Rev 1:20-2:5 #firstlove NEW book...
— Tony Sutherland (@tonycsutherland) June 23, 2012

and

Source: United Pursuit Band Blog by Nathan Fray

That part for performance versus experience really got me. Do I worship in a certain way because that's the way it's always been done or becaues it's what's Jesus has put on my heart? I'd encourage you to click on the link and read the rest of Nate's blog. He talks about how Jesus said in 

“This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ For laying aside the commandment of God, you hold the tradition of men – the washing of the pictures and cups, and many other such things you do. All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition.” Mark 7:6-9 and
“Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.” – Matt. 15:6

That's been my take-out for the week...if I'm really going to go after the heart of God, He has to be at the center, not tradition or performance. The disciples waited on God and experienced a whole new thing, it wasn't just going through the motions with them, it was authentic. So that's what I've been praying for, authenticity, and more than that, that God would reveal Himself to me and that I would encounter Him in a new fresh, REAL EXPERIENCE way.

Oh, another thing that got me was;

Sitting @BethelRedding.. Goodness gracious. The presence of God is so thick in here..so refreshing..soo soo refreshing. :)
— Kari Jobe (@karijobe) June 23, 2012

I DEFINITELY HAVE TO GO TO BSSM!!!

Hopefully Brian and Jenn's Spanish Bay House minutes away from Campus will open up for me :-)


xx
Jo

I Made The Worship Team!

I made the worship team…how crazy is that?! 

I am seriously freaking out. I’m trying to get my mom to be excited for me, because I’m not excited, and I need someone to be excited for me so this seems normal. I wasexcited for about 2 minutes, which was followed by an “Oh My Gosh! I’m actually doing this?”

My mom goes like, “So you should start preaching here in the house.” Or, “When I’ll be excited is the day you pray when we have visitors or we’re having dinner or breakfast” Way to kick a girl out of the nest mom! Maybe though one day soon, I will just pop up at one of her Small Groups and say, “Hi, I want to pray for you guys…” Probably not anytime soon, but you never know?!

This has from the start been always about more than getting up on a stage to sing. To be honest, I could be happy not to – ok, maybe not, I do love to worship, and I think edging toward God and waiting for Him to make His move is amazing, and being a part of that is my dream. 

It’s not about the stage though. It’s about having a chance to actually grow, and do something that will help someone like me. It’s about changing the face of worship, and going back to the heart of it. It’s about getting to a place where we’re not just practicing, but experiencing.

So, on this day, when my voice has moved out of my shower and into the real world (just kidding shower, you know your my number one!) I want to write down what I hope comes out of this whole thing.

1.       Life-changing friendships

2.       A heart that seeks after God, and like I always say…to get so drenched in the Holy Spirit, I’m leaking it everywhere I go

3.       To write music out of the overflow

4.       To teach/equip and lead a class

5.       To figure out my ministry stuff

6.       Mostly though, to get closer to God. Maybe it’ll be in seeking Him in daily private worship times; maybe it’ll be in finding Him through friends and band-mates (ah! Band-mates!), maybe it’ll be through music…whatever it is, however it comes, I just need that and want that so bad in my life. Not to be committed because it’s routine, but to be committed because I can’t be any other way.

Anyway, I am nervous, but I am excited. Thank God for amazing supportive friends. I think Michelle and Prossy believe in me and this ministry more than I do, which is always what you want right? There all like, “You’re doing this. This is the first step. You are actually doing this.” It’s amazing, so I guess I am. This isactually step one!

Romans 8:15 - For you did not receive the Spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the spirit of adoption by whom we cry our ABBA FATHER

So tonight, I just want to pray…

“God, I am so excited about making it. I pray above all else just for Your Spirit and God just ridiculous intimacy between the two of us, that I hear Your voice and Your heartbeat. I just want to get close to You Godotherwise, none of it matters. This is it God, am doing this, stepping out of the comfort zone, striving for more with You; this is where it all begins right? Please, please, please just be with me. Help me figure You out, and figure this out and be where You want me to be. I tear down any walls of fear or discouragement or discontentment or any other thing that strives to come between You and me, in Jesus’ name. Lord, I pray that You will walk through the walls and surround me with Your Light. I release creativity and courage and Your Power. I pray for Your wisdom and discernment, and boldness, and voice. I pray for whatever person you called me out for. I pray that what I’ve received, I’m able to give freely as You have. I pray for Your spirit and that I always remember Your name has so much power and You can break every chain. Jesus it’s in Your name I pray. Amen.”

M.I.A: Scared of God

Man, I cannot even tell you how crazy the past two weeks have been. I haven't even blogged in two weeks, and blogging is a huge thing for me.

I am honestly just very frazzled, you know the feeling of being pulled in every direction?

My heart is right in the middle of all that tugging.

To be honest, a series of circumstances, which I'll probably tell ya'll about later just got me to a place of fearing God, like not a natural, "Thou shalt fear God" kinda thing but a really, "Dude, my entire being, whether I breathe in the next second is really under your control and you freak me out" kinda way.

I hate that! I hate fear. I hate fearing and not trusting the one person I'm supposed to be able to trust most in the world. Anyway, I needed a couple of days off I guess to recharge and breathe and get my mind back under some form of control.

As I was doing that, I realized, I'm scared of a lto, but it all comes down to this:

I’m scared He’s not really with me and if He isn’t I can’t dive in because there’ll be no one there to catch me.

What holds me together? Well if it were up to me, the answer to that would be nothing, and I would be falling apart.

But, it’s not up to me thank God! 

My mind may not allow me to conceive that a great and powerful God has my name on the palm of His hand. 

That Jesus is obsessed with me and loves me despite everything and would do it all over again. 

My thoughts may come at me a lot more often than His thoughts toward me, but His word stands true. The more I get to know Him, the more His thoughts will become my thoughts. 

And you know what, one day I won’t be scared anymore. I’ll crave to hear His voice, I won’t be scared when He speaks to me or shows me something. His words will bring life to me.

I need to remind myself of who God is, of who I am because of Him.

Hope this helps you if you're at the same place at me.

M.I.A

I can't believe I haven't posted for a week, and I was getting so good at posting daily! Apparently, that's been going around in the bloggy-verse and it finally caught up with me.

I hope you stick around though and check back for updates starting tomorrow, for now, be sure to check out my archives for some good stories.

Love you guys!


xx
Jo

What I'm Loving Wednesday: Fashion

Hi guys so, I finally have resolved, for realz this time to budget money for clothes. I'm older now, plus in that horrible phase of life called single-and-searching-but-absolutely-not-desperate-because-am-a-catch-and-i-know-it-but-am-not-proud-nor-picky-am-just-waiting-for-the-right-one, you got all that right?

Anyway, I obviously want to look good, but honestly, I just don't really put that much thought into what I wear. I dont go shopping unless its for something specific, the last time I went shopping per say was a year ago when I'd just gotten a job and I needed formal work wear, which to me was just baggy trousers and jackets...FAIL! What can I say, I'm just not a fashion maven. I wore hand-me-downs for most f my life, to this day, I still wait for my sister to empty her closet so I can ba some "new" stuff...but NO MORE!

I am a blogger surrounded by a sister-hood of fashionable bloggers AND PINTEREST! I am woman, see me shop! AFFORDABLY! Let's not get crazy. So before I head out, I'd like to do a bit of planning, pick some higheer budget items, then for the smaller stuff, we can do that later. For now, I'm lovibg this yellow blouse, with both the faded skinny jeans and the navy jeans.

Thoughts? Hit or miss? Should I head out and look for/buy this look?

Source: margauxachard.tumblr.com via Joanne on Pinterest

Source: mystylepill.com via Joanne on Pinterest

xx
Jo

You Know Me by Bethel Music feat Steffany Frizzell

Still listening to my Loft Sessions CD from Bethel Music. Seriously, I will forgive you if you leave my page and go buy it right now. It'll bless your socks off!

To be honest, sometimes the fact that God was above me, watching every move kind of freaked me out. Think about it, it's like:
a) He was a puppet master and purposefully put people in my way to annoy me
b) He was watching a movie and thinking, "Ha, come look at what the human is doing now"
c) He was the great record keeper in the sky, gathering evidence and writing all my mistakes in a little notebook

However, I'm getting to know God. Diving into His word and listening to people talking and how they live their lives; seeing love in action and actually just experiencing God and getting to know Him through worship and praying and stuff.



Here's a couple of things I learnt that blew my policeman-in-the-sky theory out of the water

(Hosea 2:19 [NET])
​​​​​​​I will commit myself to you forever; ​​​​​​I will commit myself to you in righteousness and justice, ​​​​​​in steadfast love and tender compassion.

(Psalm 103:8 [NET])
​​​​​​​The LORD is compassionate and merciful; ​​​​​​he is patient and demonstrates great loyal love.

(Psalm 103:12 [NET)
​​​​​​​As far as the eastern horizon is from the west, ​​​​​​so he removes the guilt of our rebellious actions from us.

The fact that God knows us isn't a noose around our necks, it's actually, if you think about it, a pretty great thing. He knows what I can and cannot handle, he knows how to mend my broken heart, He knows how to make me happy.

This song moves me to tears. First of all the message of the song, like I said is great and second, Steffany Frizzell's voice in this is Ah-Mazing!

For your listening pleasure,
xx
Jo

How To Add A Rolling List For Your Blog Buttons

I saw this rolling list of buttons on Lissa's blog, {Through The Looking Glass} and loved it so I Googled it and came across this jenieshell.blogspot.com who gave a tutorial here. So, this is just a way for me to remember how I did it and you guys can use it too, it'd be awesme if you'd add me to your roll *wink* *wink*.

200" onmouseover="this.stop()" scrollamount="5" onmouseout="this.start()" height="400" align="center"> THIS IS WHERE YOU ADD THE HTML CODES FOR YOUR FAVORITE BUTTONS! (You can add as many as you like!)

• The colors in red are the dimensions you want your widget to be
• The number 5 in yellow adjusts the speed of how quickly the buttons will scroll; the higher the number the faster they will go. *I used 3, mine were going a little too fast for people to admire your awesome buttons*

Thanks jenieshell.blogspot.com!

xx
Jo

MOOOM!

Living with my mom has been pretty interesting. I was a little pensive about moving back home, I’d lived on my own for a year making my own rules, so going back home and sparks were bound to fly! It has been tough, there have been slammed doors (me) and being hung up on (her) and silent treatment (me) and raised voices (both)

Here’s a couple of things that happened though, first, I just thought, man, I’ve been praying for this amazing husband and amazing family to love and I haven’t been faithful with what I already have. As well as I think I’ll love my husband or my kids, shouldn’t I love my mom a whole lot more? So that started the “change” in me. 

Second, of course, I have to go back to Bethel Church. Man, the way I talk about this Church, it’s like I go there! Anyway, Bethel has this culture of honor, where the younger generation has a sort of mandate to honor the older generation, learn from them and everything. Banning Liebscher talks about “not stopping the flow of grace” Basically, we need to honor the people God’s placed in leadership over us. In this case, that’s my mom.

The second my mindset changed, our relationship changed a lot. There are still moments when we really annoy each other, but it’s made life so much easier for me to not look at what she says to me as an order, or as a lecture but as something that’ll help me. If she asks me to run upstairs and grab her glasses when I’m really into a TV show, it only takes a couple of seconds and it makes her happy and she feels respected. When I talk to her calmly about how she can’t really stop me from going out to worship night if I want to, she hates it, but she’s starting to respect that. Then the whole being supportive thing when I told her, “Hey, I’m quitting business and heading into ministry”

She is super funny, she gets my jokes, if anyone knows how to sing spontaneously from any sentence, it’s her, she’s strong and amazing and even though she doesn’t agree with some of the ways I say I’m going to raise my own kids, (like saying how my hubby will have to be close to the baby, ha) if overall, I end up being a mom like her, that’ll be an accomplishment.

So, in honor of our maturing relationship, I thought I’d post a couple of pictures that I love. 

I love you mom!

xx

Jo