Writing Experiment

I've been reading a couple of new blogs that have completely changed my mindset on writing. I write mostly to summarize the activities of the day and so do these guys but I guess they come at it from a different place, more of descriptive rather than narrative language, such that you feel like you were going through the emotions and the course of the day with them. I'm loving it. So, I thought I'd try it out. I wrote this a while ago after going through a particularly bad day, what better way to start this experiment right?

Here goes;

Driving down the same dead-end route hoping to get to a different destination is an obvious exercise in futility and sadly, over the years, it’s become the foundation of my identity.

The spacious way and the wide gate is where I find myself walking, each time thinking I learnt my lesson, I’m stronger now and I’m ready for whatever comes. Boldly telling the enemy, “You want a piece of this, come and get it.” He does and he wins the battle. 

In the midst of the fight, I think of Him. Him who owns every piece of me, Him whose face I turn away from, Him whose open arms I ignore. I hide my face in shame; I dig deep into the darkness to find cover from the light that always breaks through. I can’t stand the brightness that hurts my eyes every time as they struggle to adjust. If only I’d stayed in the light in the first place, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. 

Finally, I dig deep enough and the darkness swallows me. I desperately need the light, I long for it, I crave it, but I can’t move. Not again. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t deserve freedom. I don’t deserve warmth. I definitely don’t deserve those hands always reaching out to me.

The choice has to be made. The door has to be closed. The foothold has to be sawed out. He’ll wash my dusty feet, but isn’t it time to get some shoes? I can come out guns a-blazing as much as I want, but I have to understand when it’s time to retreat. When it’s time to wave the white flag, turn around, get back on the ship and sail away. To realize that the war has already been won and my battles are self-sought, self-propagated and self-lost.

Maybe the crux of the matter is that I look for life everywhere else but from Him who gives it in abundance.

Maybe I haven’t fully believed that the narrow path does lead to life. Maybe it’s time I did. Maybe it’s time I realized no one compares to Him. That He’s the only one who can satisfy me. That my plan is nothing compared to His. That He really truly has me and I can’t close my eyes and pretend He doesn’t and that my actions don’t break His heart.

So I say with the same boldness I had before,

“I quit, you can have this, I don’t want it anymore.

If you want a fight you’ll have to wrestle on your own

Because this isn’t my battle,

My war’s already been won.”

xx

Jo

Always Yours

John 16:33 In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world!


Psalm 34:19 A righteous man may have many trouble, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

So seeing that today is a Monday, and we've all gone back to our troubles from the week, I figured today is the best day to think about why we still have those incredibly depressing Monday blues, even after we've had particularly amazing Sundays.

Look at the verses above. He doesn't spare us from trouble, he doesn't defend us, or hide us away from them, but he does deliver us. We may come out with scars and calluses and losses, but we will come out on the other side.

Each new problem, means you have to start hoping and trusting again, almost like going back to square 1 every time, but we have to think back to how God has delivered us in our past. Knowing God is on our side, and supporting us through our troubles can give us a sense of confidence and peace.

Today's title comes from the song "Yours" In the song, John Foreman, who wrote it, takes us through the life of a soul. The first two verses are written from the father's perspective...he sees this baby, and from the moment their eyes lock, he knows he will love him forever and he'd always protect him. Thn he starts telling him about all the troubles he would face in the world, (John 16:33). The bridge near the end is the son grown up, he's passed through all the trouble and comes to the realization, of his need for God, and the fact that he's never alone:

"Hallelujah, I'm caving in,

Hallelujah, I'm in love again

Hallelujah, I'm a wretched man

Hallelujah, every breath is a second chance"

Even instrumentally, the slow starts off, dark and slow, but starts its ending in an amazing climax of instruments, voices and sound.

Remember this Hello Hurricane CD is up for grabs, sponsored by 20th Paradigm just keep it here.


The Switchfoot lyrics and any Switchfoot content belongs to Switchfoot and their Management. Thankya!

Do You Love Me Enough To Let Me Go :: Switchfoot

Where was I? Oh, I was reminded of this:

Luke 14:28-32  For which of you, intending to build a tower, doesn't sit down first, and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it? Otherwise, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that see it begin to mock him, saying, "This man began to build, and was not able to finish." 

Or what king, going to make war against another king, doesn't sit down first, and consult whether he'll be able with ten thousand men to wage war against him with twenty thousand? So that if he can't, he can send an ambassador to arrange a peaceful resolution, while the other is yet a great way off.

Isn't my heart like a tower, I'm spending all this time building it up, why should I let someone come and tear me down, because he didn't sit down and count the cost, or most importantly because I didn't sit down and count the cost?

That also led me to remember this other amazing song by Switchfoot, Do You Love Me Enough To Let Me Go from the album Hello Hurricane which as usual you can buy on Amazon at $7.99 or Ksh. 640. I wish I coulld buy a bunch of them and give them out here or make them available for less than Ksh. 640 because everyone should have this album. Anyway, we'll pray on that....back to the song...

Enough To Let Me Go by Switchfoot

Oh, I'm a wandering soul
I'm still walking the line that leads me home alone
All I know I still got mountains to climb on my own

On my own

Do you love me enough to let me go?
Do you love me enough to let me go?
To let me follow through, let me fall for you, my love
Do you love me enough to let me go?

Back from the dead of winter
Back from the dead and all our leaves are dry
You're so beautiful tonight
Do you love me enough to let me go?
Back from the dead we went through
Back from the dead and both our tongues are tied
You look beautiful tonight

Do you love me enough to let me go?.....

But every seed dies before it grows

Do you love me enough to let me go?
Do you love me enough to let me go?
To let me follow through, let me fall for you, my love
Do you love me enough to let me go?

Breathe it in and let it go
Every breath you take is not yours to own

It's not your to hold
Do you love me enough to let me go?

Do you love me enough to let me go?
Do you love me enough to let me go?
To let me follow through, let me fall for you, my love
Do you love me enough to let me go?

Like I've said a bunch of times before, Jon Foreman is an amazing writer and his words mean different things to different people, this song to me, could mean two things. First of all to the single people, every seed has to die before it grows, so I'm not entirely wrong in wanting to be single for a while :-) and for the people who are dating, to make sure you aren't holding each other back from achieving the full potential of your purpose, for example, in this love story from another blogger, Erin, they were both committed to growing closer to God before anything else and every time their friendship started moving into relationship zone, the guy would say they should take a step back and make sure they aren't putting themselves or their own needs before God.

So to cut this short, here's what I've learnt and decided. My love lesson for the week, if you will, 

1. Firstly, not to judge guys generally. Just because some of the ones I've dated have messed up, doesn't mean they're ALL bad.
2. To still continue taking time off to rebuild. "All I know, I still got mountains to climb on my own" and a relationship with God should be my first priority.
3. To really take time in building friendships and not just jump into relationships like I've always done in the past.
4. To make sure that I (and the guy) have really sat down and counted the costs. This is like, when you've been friends for a while and you know a lot about each other and you still want to pursue things, you sit down and come up with a game plan/rules of play
5. While sitting down to count the costs, also take some time off to make sure your decisions aren't clouded by emotions or rather hormones! "Do you love me enough to let me go" and this is where Erin's blog and the song come into play.

As always, the Enough To Let Me Go lyrics are the property of Switchfoot and their Label and are only provided here for educative purposes. I'm sure you'll love the song, please, please buy the Hello Hurricane CD through the links above and support the most amazing band on the planet!!!

Sing It Out :: Switchfoot

Today was an amazing day. I got to church on time and got to do the entire praise and worship for the first time in a long time and seeing Jaya leading worship was amazing. I mean, she was the year below me in High School, I knew she was a singer, but she's so talented! 


The worship was amazing and to add to all that good stuff was this amazing Switchfoot song, Sing It Out from the album Hello Hurricane. This is officially my song for the year. And for all of you, here at home, if you cant find the album it's only Ksh. 80 or $0.99 for download on Amazon, that's the cost of Chips and Soda, it's worth the sacrifice! I mean check out these lyrics;

Sing It Out By Switchfoot

I'm on the run

I'm on the ropes this time

Where is my song?

I've lost the song of my soul tonight

Sing it out

Sing it out

Take what is left of me

And make it a melody

Sing it out

Sing out loud

I can't find the words to sing

You be my remedy

My song

My song

I'll sing with what's left of me

Where is the sun?

Feel like a ghost this time

Where have you gone?

I need your breath in my lungs tonight

Sing it out.......

I'm holding on

I'm holding on to you

My world is wrong

My world is a lie that's come true

And I fall in love

With the ones that run me through

When all along all I need is you

Sing it out

***********************************************

I mean, how amazing is it? The words combined with the music just makes for an amazing song, and it moves me completely. We've all been there...places where you feel you've lost the song in your soul and you can't find the words to sing. God is the only one who you can look to to be your remedy and the breath in your lungs. The part that absolutely gets me is "my world is wrong, my world is a lie that's come true, and I fall in love, with the ones that run me through, when all along all I need is you"

The SING IT OUT LYRICS are the property of Switchfoot and their label. The lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song and I know you will, please, please, please buy the Hello Hurricane CD to support Switchfoot

Switchfoot:: In This Life

As much as I love every single Switchfoot album I own, today my favorite has to be Oh!Gravity because I love every single song on it.

I've always dreamed of someone dedicating "Head Over Heels" to me, it's just a nice, sweet song. In fact, my dream guy would be someone who gets the humor in 30 Rock and understands Jon Foreman's lyrics, if I get a guy like that, ahh....then we're set, lol.

Here's the thing about Jon Foreman's writing though, and Switchfoot's music in general, everyone has a different opinion about what every song means because they're pretty deep :-) but apart from the awesomely sweet lyrics, the drummer is on point, and the guitars sound amazing as well.

Head Over Heels (In This Life)

Head over here and take me

Head over heels and aching 

When I told you I was yours

I was yours

In this life, you're the one place I call home 

In this life, you're the feeling I belong 

In this life, you're the flower and the thorn 

You're everything that's fair in love and war

I'm coming down like a gunshot

In all these battles that I've fought

You're the mark I'm aiming for

I was yours

In this life, you're the one place I call home 

In this life, you're the feeling I belong 

In this life, you're the flower and the thorn 

You're everything that's fair in love and war

Head over heels 

In this life I'm stubborn to the core

In this life I've been burning after more 

We both know what these open arms are for 

You're everything that's fair

In this life, you're my only one

How amazing is that? If you haven't already, then you have to go out and buy Oh! Gravity and check out Switchfoot website for fun stuff like crazy podcasts from my  imaginary boyfriends, photos, videos and downloads.

Best musical experience you're ever going to have!!!




The HEAD OVER HEELS (IN THIS LIFE) LYRICS are the property of Switchfoot and their label. The lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song and I know you will, please, please, please buy the Oh! Gravity CD to support Switchfoot

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

O.k., so part of the description "Shadows Proving the Sunshine" is derived from a Switchfoot song, The Shadow Proves the Sunshine from the album Nothing Is Sound. To me, it just means that we need to stop focusing on the problem and focus on the sunshine. To better explain it, last year I went through some major issues, I was depressed and  reckless with my life and I couldn't talk to anyone. My mom even took me to a therapist and long story short...it's the darkest time of my life, I remember calling my mom one night crying because I honestly thought I would die, and I begged her to pray for me. Today I'm here happier than I've ever been. Yeah, God saved me, would I like Him to erase everything that happened, honestly duh! Yeah. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to wipe away the shadows, because then I would have never known that the sunshine was real, get it? I hope you do, because I can’t really explain it any further :-)

Switchfoot is my all-time favorite band from around 2002 and I was their biggest fan even though I'd only heard two of their songs "Dare You to Move" and "Meant to Live" It’s just last year that I got to actually own 4 new Switchfoot albums that I got as a gift from some of my friends and my love for them has grown immensely as evidenced by the thousands of tweets I've sent to them that have sadly never been replied or re-tweeted :-) but I love them. Jon Foreman is and will always be the most talented and prolific song writer ever. He puts your thoughts in words even before you think them, you know????

Anyway enough chatter, the link to their website is always at the bottom of this blog and here and you can buy the albums through there. If you're here in Nairobi it's pretty hard to get a copy as they are almost always sold out but it's good to check at Tune Inn Yaya Center or any Nu Metro store near you. Or if you're extra nice you can borrow mine. Guys, beg, borrow, or the other one whatever you can do, do it. Trust me these are the best musicians you will ever encounter and they'll leave you inspired, for example the lyrics to the song The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine by Switchfoot
Sunshine, won't you be my mother
Sunshine, come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

Chorus

We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine
Two scared little runaways
Hold fast to the break of day light were
The shadow proves the sunshine

Oh Lord, why did you forsake me?
Oh Lord, don't be far away, away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord, don't look the other way

Yeah, Yeah, shine on me
Yeah, Yeah, shine on me
Yeah, Yeah, shine on me
Yeah, Yeah, shine on me

Shine on me;
Let my shadows prove the sunshine

I wish I could have called this blog "The shadow proves the sunshine" but with the copyright stuff and everything I didn’t want to risk it, but I hope my description does that song and those lyrics and Jon Foreman justice.

Now here is where I know that my blog title and description is inspired. Like I said in my last post, All Together Separate broke up, and here's the kicker, their guitarist Andrew (Drew) Shirley ended up being the guitarist for Switchfoot. I just found this out while I was looking for the links. How much of a coincidence is it that those two bands whose songs have inspired me to be here are related :-)

When I post lyrics on here, I highlight the verses that apply to me, and I couldn't do that with this song. It describes my entire life; it's the cry of my heart. So whether through this blog or through my day to day interactions or trying to make it as a Christian this year, or through whatever my life will amount to, please God, let my shadows prove the sunshine.


I took this picture from my balcony seat when hip-hop artist Da T.R.U.T.H came to Kenya and had a concert for Mad Love Lounge in NPC Valley Road. All the lights in the building were off except for the cross. It might be unintended but that's deep msee!


The SHADOW PROVES THE SUNSHINE LYRICS are the property of Switchfoot and their label. The lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song and I know you will, please, please, please buy the Nothing Is Sound CD to support Switchfoot

Paradigm

Maybe I should start explaining the title of this blog, both for you guys and in case someone asks me months from now and I forget, lol ;-)

20th Paradigm
A paradigm is a typical example or pattern of something; example, model, pattern, standard, archetype, prototype. That said, it had nothing to do with the naming of this blog ha ha ha, at least at first... but now that I think about it, I want to change my view of the world. I want to change the view of my life. I don't want to be status quo. I want to shift the way people view the world. Chances are I won't make it to the large scale, but with the people in my sphere of influence, I don't want to follow their routine. I want to be the change I want to see. Big words coming from little ole' me but who knows....it could happen?! I do go to the Church of fearless influencers, it could rub off on me?!

Originally I got the idea from this song I heard once when I was in High School...you know those songs that you hear once and its stuck in your head for the rest of your life because of how much it touched you?
It's called Paradigm by a band called All Together Separate, I'd link their website here but they broke up, and guess what?  I just found it on Amazon here where you can buy the mp3 with you Visa card for 80 bob i.e. $0.99

Everybody loves a rose,
But will you be thankful for the thorns?
Love is easy when you're loved,
But do you curse another when you're alone?

Chorus:
Oh, I give my life to You
so I can gain it back again
Oh, I stand solid
while the paradigm is shifting

You say live and let live,
But people are dying everyday
And you say what I don't know won't hurt me
But if what I do not know
is the very thing I need,
then I say...

Humanity sees truth
through a shattered window pane
That blocks the view,
And plants the seed
So we draw the curtains to close but I say
That the sun can still shine
behind a closed mind
And sticks and stones do hurt
When tossed from the tongue of mankind

And I'm in my 20's, hence 20th Paradigm.

Next post is about the description, trust me it's worth the tiny wait :-)