The Altar Doesn't Alter

Honestly, if you listen to some radio stations in the morning, you would never ever want to get married. Like this morning, the discussion was on how men marry for 3 things, good food, clean house, and sex, and if you are unable to provide one or all of these things, then he absolutely has to have a girl on the side,

People called in and I think the saddest one was this lady who'd been married 8 years and in their 5th year while she was on maternity leave, she found out her husband had an affair with one of her friends, and this discovery led to a lot more because the guy had cheated a bunch of times before that. She says she got married as a virgin and now she's living with HIV.

Another guy called in and said he just doesn't get turned on by his wife, they don't have sex and he's not cheating, he just doesn't want it.

What about the stories of the girl who cant cook and the husband sends her back to her mother's...yeah, it happens. Or the men who cheat with the housemaid, or bring girls home from the bar and kick the wife out of bed! I even watched a Nigerian movie about this girl who married this extremely handsome man and on the wedding night the guy is like, "there's no hurry, we're both tired" same story for 6 weeks, finally the girl finds out the guy is gay. Or like the guy who just yesterday was a sweetheart and now, if you don't get that spot out of his shirt, he throws it in your face.

Yeah, so you know that fear I was talking about yesterday, as you can see, it just about quadrupled!

Rick Shurtz, a pastor from Gateway Church in Austin said once, "The altar doesn't alter the condition of your hearts..." We even see this in the Bible, Jacob marrying Leah didn't make him love her anymore because his heart was already set on something else (Rachel) - {Genesis 29 and 30}

Before you get into it with someone, be smart, it's called due diligence. My Pastor talked about how couples nowadays date in isolation, you can be with someone for months and the person's never introduced you to his friends or family, that's a deal breaker! You end up falling in love with someone's image that they've purported and not the real person. I grew up in the, "come over we watch a movie" generation, so I know!

Pastor M recommended doing group hangouts, inviting each other to your life groups, casual family stuff, being out in public and seeing how they react to certain situations like a rude waiter or a random person that's bumped into them and scuffed their shoe. You'll never see that when you're indoors. Check out what their friends think about them, their family dynamic, their character.

I feel like this would work a lot better than Facebook stalking your girlfriend or being married and counting their mileage to see if they came straight home from work, or hugging them and sniffing for signs of perfume or cologne.

About the whole sex in marriage thing, obviously, I have no comment, but I found this great article all you married folks might find interesting:

"In a nutshell, here’s what I think: a healthy marriage consists of give and take in every area, including sex. So the wife should give when she’s able, as much as she’s able, and as enthusiastically as she’s able. At the same time, when she is not able, the husband should then give grace. To me, that’s a healthy marriage. For most of the month, you have a great time, and then for those five days you concentrate on other areas of relating, like talking, or cuddling, or watching a movie, or whatever–unless, of course, she would like to do something more sexual (and about 30% of women do. There’s nothing wrong with that!)... {Continue reading....}

21 Simple Rules.....for an Amazing Woman

Proverbs 31:10-31  How hard it is to find a capable wife! She is worth far more than jewels! 

1. Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor. 
2. As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm. 
3. She keeps herself busy making wool and linen cloth. 
4. She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do. 
5. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant women what to do. 
6. She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard. 
7. She is a hard worker, strong and industrious. 
8. She knows the value of everything she makes, and works late into the night. 
9. She spins her own thread and weaves her own cloth. 
10. She is generous to the poor and needy. 
11. She doesn't worry when it snows, because her family has warm clothing. 
12. She makes bedspreads and wears clothes of fine purple linen. 
13. Her husband is well known, one of the leading citizens. 
14. She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants. 
15. She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future. 
16. She speaks with a gentle wisdom. 
17. She is always busy and looks after her family's needs.
18. Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her. 
19. He says, "Many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all." 
20. Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the LORD should be praised. 
21. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone. 

21 Simple Rules.....for a Happy Household

1. You have both been raised to life with Christ, so set your hearts on the things that are in heaven, where Christ sits on his throne at the right side of God. 
2. Keep your minds fixed on things there, not on things here on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God, your real life is Christ and when he appears, then you too will appear with him and share his glory! 
3. You must put to death, then, the earthly desires at work in you, such as sexual immorality indecency, lust, evil passions, and greed (for greed is a form of idolatry). Because of such things God's anger will come upon those who do not obey him. At one time you yourselves used to live according to such desires, when your life was dominated by them, but now you must get rid of all these things: 
4. Keep watch above your anger, empty passions, and hateful feelings. No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips. 
5. Do not lie to one another, for you have put off the old self with its habits, and have put on the new self. This is the new being which God, its Creator, is constantly renewing in his own image, in order to bring you to a full knowledge of himself. 
6. Treat everyone equally, there is no longer any distinction between Gentiles and Jews, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarians, savages, slaves, and free, but Christ is all, Christ is in all. 
7. You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 
8. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone the other. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. 
9. And to all these qualities add love, which binds YOU together in perfect unity. 
10. Let the peace that Christ gives guide you in the decisions you make; for it is to this peace that God has called you together in the one body. 
11. Be thankful. 
12. Christ's message in all its richness must live in your hearts. Teach and instruct one another with all wisdom. 
13. Sing psalms, hymns, and sacred songs; sing to God with thanksgiving in your hearts. 
14. Everything you do or say, should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, as you give thanks through him to God the Father. 
15. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, for that is what you should do as Christians. 
16. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 
17. As children, it is your Christian duty to obey your parents always, for that is what pleases God. 
18. Parents, (both you and the in-laws) do not irritate your children, (do not also let the parents of one irritate the other), or they will become discouraged.  
19. As employees, obey your human employers in all things, not only when they are watching you because you want to gain their approval; but do it with a sincere heart because of your reverence for the Lord. 
20. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Remember that the Lord will give you as a reward what he has kept for his people. For Christ is the real Master you serve. 
21. And all wrongdoers will be repaid for the wrong things they do, because God judges everyone by the same standard.