It's Not My Faith, It's By Grace

HALLOWEEN!!!

I was so surprised at how big of a deal Halloween is over here! Like, we went costume shopping and this woman like pretty old maybe on her 40's/50's was being fitted for a what I assumed was like a queen/princess costume, and she was so SERIOUS! It was so fun being a part of it though and not just watching on TV. Seeing the kids come up to the house trick or treating was cool. We had a party with our revival group. My friend Rhonelda lended me her scrubs so I went as a nurse/surgeon whatever. Here's some pics :-)

October 2013 Insta-Summary

Watching the worship team rehearse...

Enterprise park processing times...

New curtains for my room...

Long walks...

Love package from home: 3 pairs of shoes, Ketepa tea & extensions to get my hurr diid #lovemymom #shesawesome

1st picture finally hung up #feelslikehome

#newseasonnewlook #newhairday #boxbraids

#nothingbutjoy #saturdayselfies #waitingformylaundrytogetdone #GodIsSoGood

#parksandhomework took me a month to finish this book but I'm almost done #blueskies 10.45 a.m #SundayMorningChill

Waiting for the bus...public transport here is strictly for the strong hearted who can miss a bus by 3 minutes and not be pissed off waiting an hour for the next one #Strong

Post-run fuel/dinner slice of wholewheat bread, slice of turkey breast, 2 eggs and garlic salt on top #protein #running #fitness

Best day of my life, 2 months ago, I can't believe how good God is, I love with Him with all of me & I owe Him my life. Stuff tries to come in my way to distract me from Him, but Holy Spirit help me to always choose you because you first chose me! #justwokeup #dreamtaboutGodsGoodness :-)

#Homework coming along! 6 assignments down 2 to go...been quite the roller coaster week, I'm so happy to catch up!

#Switchfoot playing, pyjamas still on, reading good books on the floor, house worship party later tonight #Saturdays #Rest #Happy

#joyofsatisfaction

Jeremy doing homework while I sit back, relax & make fun of him mercilessly :-)

So this is happening :-) #kayaking #eastbeach #whiskeytownlake

This water is ridiculously clear #whiskeytownlake

Hoping that smile hides the fact that this was 2 seconds after I fell in :)

You're stronger than the floor I'm standing (laying) on :-) I Trust in You & Your Love

So this just happened :-) #SOExcited #PapaBill #OfficiallyInBethel

Heaven must have incredible mansions for friends who give you rides & scented candles #luckygirl #amazingfriends

Looking like a 5 year okd in a hazmat suit, takking being childlike to a whole new level, city service

Finished work, my team rocked staining all this wood, this is gonna build a new deck at Turtle Bay Park #bssm #cityservice #cityproject

Tastes of home, chai na ngwashe #kenyanbreakfast tea n sweet potatoes

#thingsimgratefulfor housemates leaving notes on the fridge :-)

#dins #fromscratchbaby #almostbutnotquite #yumm

So cold you wanna cry! I need to thicken up my tropical blood :-/ #ifthisisfallIcantimaginewinter

Anxiety never won any battles, but joy...

 When I got here, all the prophetic words I got were about joy. How God would give me joy, how I'm a giver of joy, how I'm a rainbow in Heaven (yeah, I love Bethel, people speak life into you constantly). I always used to laugh and tell these people how back home my friends call me Furaha which means joy, so their words were spot on.

This week has really brought me back to the point where I realize the strength of those words.

I woke up with a fever and headache on Monday. I chalked it up to sleeping with the fan on and maybe catching a cold that night, so I took some paracetamol and went to school. By the end of the day, I was burning up and getting cold chills and burning up and getting cold chills. Yup, full on fever. I had my carpool group pray for me then got home and put on some worship, sang, declared God's goodness, said no to sickness, even did laundry & went back to Civic for Bethel's Vision Night. I got to meet Bill Johnson!!!!! After that we worshiped some more, and celebrated and then went home.

Natalie, Bill & I. (Fever literally 20 minutes before this. Ha!)

Cut to 10PM, I could not sleep! Fever came back and I was praying & tossing & turning in bed. 12 midnight, my stomach gets in on the action and I feel like I'm on a roller coaster after eating a gallon of ice cream. I tried to get up but I was so dizzy I knew for sure I'd hit the floor. By this point I was almost crying, so I text my housemate for help & pray God wakes her up lol. She comes in & gives me some medicine and prays for me and I'm finally able to sleep after 1 more hour of tossing & turning. (Thanks Laura!)

The next day, Tuesday, I had school. I'm still sick, I wished I didn't have to go, but I go anyway, because really, it's BSSM. I love it way too much to stay home and who knows if that's the day the biggest thing to happen will happen? I also figured, it would be easier getting better in Worship than in bed, right? I got checked out by an awesome momma from my Revival Group who's a doctor & she made me feel like I was back at home with my mom.

Turns out, the biggest thing to happen did happen at school, when the Holy Spirit fell so strong in the front of the hall, half of us rushed to the front & fell on impact! It was a mosh-pit of laughter & electricity. Needless to say, fever, nausea & all symptoms were gone after a couple of hours of rest after I got home that night. Hallelujah!

Today, is Thursday. I got out of school at 3:15, missed the 3:30 bus, had to wait for the 4:25, which was late, so I missed my connection meaning I had to walk about a mile & got home at 5:30.

Last but not least, the 'ole bank account dwindling down. The stark realization that I have money going out but have not had a single cent coming into my hands, not being able to work here & just not seeing the kind of breakthroughs you hear from others. People are writing support letters. I don't even know who to write to! My small family who've probably already given all they can? It's literally a draining feeling when your funds are draining.

This was my week. Was I frustrated? Yes. Did I feel like crying? Yes. Was I homesick & missing my mom and my car?! Yes!!! Did I want  to complain? Yes! When I missed my morning bus, I did write to my sister to complain. It was my 1st reaction. When I was sick did I want to mope around the house with a blanket and skip school? Yes! Am I scared about money, mission trip funds, 2nd year tuition? YES!!!

BUT, approximately 5 seconds after my initial reactions, joy comes over me. I was telling people, "I have a fever" with a smile on my face which looked weird, but I just couldn't help it. I'm riding the bus despite how much I wish I had a car, worshiping and singing  and I'm genuinely happy. It would be one thing if it were me & I was getting myself through all these situations, but it's not me. On my own, I'm not strong or brave or persevering or a fighter or any of those things. It's the neatest thing to ride on the wave of God working on me in the background.

I used to use sadness or moodiness to manipulate the will of God. Like, "God, I'll just be sad until you do this" Now I'm learning I don't have to be like that. God is good. God is really good. I'm His daughter. I'm smack dab in the middle of His will. His hand is not  too short that He will not save me or put me in the exact situation I need to be in in the perfect way & time.

Anxiety never won any battles, but joy...joy kicks some A*

Thoughts at Midnight

In trying to stick to my commitment of writing up all the goodness I get to hear and be a part of daily, here I am at 12:05AM doing a recap of Saturday.

I have to say, it was a great day! I slept in till about 10AM, which is just what you do on Saturday in California. (Despite how much I planned to go on a run) I listened to some music, did my laundry, met a great girl who came over to the house and then kinda just chilled for the rest of the day. I was planning a movie night for a couple of people from my Revival Group and I'm just praying I get a car so I can pick up all these people who need rides but struggle to find them! (Like me :-)) so I can pick them up and shuttle them over to my house :-)

My landlords, friends, family here is amazing and allowed me to invite a couple of people over and I hope to do that some more because there's something INCREDIBLE about community and having Jesus just show up like He said He would where people in His name are gathered. His presence always come down, and I'm just so into hosting that :-) Anyway, I'm skipping ahead...

I went to In n Out with a few friends and I learned so much about love. Loving the people who don't get any love from anybody else. People can say no to attending a Church service, or getting prayed over, but few people can say no to no-strings-attached love. So, we were just talking about loving the community, and it really impacted me because these people really DO it. Open their doors to strangers and have their home be "Holy car washes" where people just walk through the door and get showered in the Holy Spirit. I was just asking God can I do that? Despite my fears for my space/safety, can He make me brave?

After that a couple of guys came over for my little movie night and we watched Finger of God. It was kind of cool to see the scenes set in Redding and be like, "oh, I know that place, I know where that is!" After the movie, we were just talking about what we learned from it and love, time & prayer were the major themes my friends brought up.

Love in the sense of how our love is what changes the nations. Love truly is the most powerful force on earth. Kids know this. Kids know, Jesus loves me, so He will heal me. Jesus loves me, so He will give this person a new kidney. They know this until we as adults train them otherwise. Love is simple and strong, just like Jesus.

Time is the one I struggle most with. Prioritizing time for prayer. I hate saying that, because it's not a task to check off a list. It's a conversation with the person I'm the luckiest to get to have a conversation with! It's as much a priority as breathing is.

Right now at school, we're told to rest and not go out into the streets and preach - that's kind of what BSSM is known for and what most people are itching to go out and do. However, Jesus taught us that most wars are won in the secret place much earlier than they are in public. Now in my prayer closet, I can pray for specific things, specific people - people I may not necessarily know and still see healing in their lives. I can practice the prophetic now without even seeing or touching the person and pray into that. I can practice my prayer language now, before I do it in front of anyone else. I get to balance that out with general prayers for what I might not know I need but that the Spirit can work with and contend for what I need - again, with this opportunity of sharing your heart with the one who loves you, how can I struggle with prayer and prioritize God?! He IS the priority. Not catching up on the latest TV shows on Hulu! (That's for me, lol)

So anyway, here I am, thinking on these things and about to pray. First and foremost for God giving me such an amazing friend, (Rhonelda!) and for surrounding me with some RIDICULOUSLY amazing world changers in my Revival Group. Thanks guys for coming over, you totally blessed my heart!

My Punch in Fear's Nose

I am so disappointed in myself for not keeping up with this blog. Life has been incredibly exciting and I should be chronicling all of this, but between school, homework, Bible reading, Hulu and trying to get a life ;-) this blog fell way behind. However, it was sort of a good break and I feel like now I can come back with a bang and a second wind & get this back on track.

I am honestly so full of joy and excited over what God's been doing and what He continues to do. Right now, I have no great goals to accomplish because everything I set out to do through this year, God has already come in and blown my little ideas out of the water and given me so much more.

I struggled my 1st month here, getting used to being away from home and away from life as I knew it. The culture shock was crazy - no amount of blog reading or TV watching will prepare you  for being submerged in this (way) different culture, but to be honest I love it. I love being asked where I'm from and having a story to tell and meeting all these people who have a heart for Kenya! My country is in good hands & hearts.

The more I'm here, the more my heart is stirred to travel. I've never pictured myself as being confident or strong enough to survive in another country...forget America, America is easy and diverse, I'm talking Asia or Russia or Scandinavia...but the more I'm here and interact with my AMAZING Revival & Small Groups, the more I am so excited to go and I pray God enables me to travel to those countries and continue to live this dream of going around the world, seeking Him and learning & teaching His love.

Like I said, my expectations have been blown away as far as what I think I came here for, now I'm at a place where I'm asking for more and expecting nothing but greatness. Do I know what I want to do for the rest of my life? Yes and No. Simply because I've come to realize my carefully mapped out life won't work in this environment. I truly believe whatever I choose, I am being empowered to make maximum impact. Whether it's leading worship, writing, teaching, preaching, marketing, prophesying, being a wife & mom, all of it. I'm growing in my confidence daily & that in itself is a miracle. It's freeing, scary and exhilarating and this is a wonderful season.

My immediate goal is to rally potential BSSM students from Africa and encourage them that the door is wide open and waiting for YOU. Something incredible is growing from here. This is an army rising up. We may not be the best or the only choice out  there, (although I believe we are ;-) wink) but there is definitely something tangible rising out of here. God is moving really powerfully and I believe He's releasing generals into Africa through BSSM. If you have any questions please feel free to let me know.

Financially, it has been a challenge. I haven't enough money to start putting toward my mission trip nor to my 2nd year tuition, to be honest, even my rent & expenses after December. I've learned though that I don't have to carry the load on my own, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by an army that's ready and waiting for a call to action. I'll be working on some support letters and I hope to send those out pretty soon. In the meantime, please email me or check out the links on the sidebar if you are wondering how you can contribute and sow into this vision and partner with me.

More than anything, I ask for your prayers. I really ask for your prayers. We are taught to kick fear in the face here, but I can only kick so much until my legs grow weary and I need an extra boost. The Holy Spirit is that boost and I need your prayers over me. The fact that I'm writing this and putting my heart sort of out there is a left hook on my part :-) He makes me brave.