Last week I talked about how I don't believe in love anymore and how the concept of falling in love freaked me out more than exciting me and how maybe I shouldn't jump into it at all.
Last week, I lied.
Yes, the concept of love freaks me out. There is so much wrong about relationships these days. So much pressure and so much uncertainty. I spoke out of fear instead of faith and that was absolutely wrong.
This is what I forgot; through the dark, seemingly tempestuous times of trying to figure out how to find the elusive "happily ever after", one thing remains.
God.
In all my fear and uncertainty, I forgot that one simple fact. I've done relationships in the past alone, God was never in the equation. I saw a guy I liked and I pursued them and never gave a thought to God. Not even a "hmm maybe I should pray about it and sleep on it." If I saw a guy I liked, I switched on the flirt button and switched off the God button.
That's not me anymore. God gave me a vision and a plan for my life and of course part of that is having a good relationship and that will not come with me hiding this brand new heart I keep talking about in fear. I wasn't even planning on posting this, but this song by my church-mate, worship team-mate and amazing singer I'm proud to be associated with fits into this post so well.
It's called "Heart Right Here" by Jaya.
For my non-Swahili speaking friends, the song is generally about how the devil tried to rob her joy and keep her locked up in fear and doubt. The part she sings, "nimechoka kufungiwa" means, "I'm tired of being restrained/locked up" the rest is in English and you can follow along. It's an awesome song and a great way to end this post. We're definitely coming back to this topic though.
"There used to be a heart right here and I want it back NOW!"
Last week, I lied.
Yes, the concept of love freaks me out. There is so much wrong about relationships these days. So much pressure and so much uncertainty. I spoke out of fear instead of faith and that was absolutely wrong.
This is what I forgot; through the dark, seemingly tempestuous times of trying to figure out how to find the elusive "happily ever after", one thing remains.
God.
In all my fear and uncertainty, I forgot that one simple fact. I've done relationships in the past alone, God was never in the equation. I saw a guy I liked and I pursued them and never gave a thought to God. Not even a "hmm maybe I should pray about it and sleep on it." If I saw a guy I liked, I switched on the flirt button and switched off the God button.
That's not me anymore. God gave me a vision and a plan for my life and of course part of that is having a good relationship and that will not come with me hiding this brand new heart I keep talking about in fear. I wasn't even planning on posting this, but this song by my church-mate, worship team-mate and amazing singer I'm proud to be associated with fits into this post so well.
It's called "Heart Right Here" by Jaya.
For my non-Swahili speaking friends, the song is generally about how the devil tried to rob her joy and keep her locked up in fear and doubt. The part she sings, "nimechoka kufungiwa" means, "I'm tired of being restrained/locked up" the rest is in English and you can follow along. It's an awesome song and a great way to end this post. We're definitely coming back to this topic though.
"There used to be a heart right here and I want it back NOW!"
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