A Couple of Tears and A Whole Bunch Of Food Later.....

So after my downer of a post a couple of days ago, today I had to make the a big decision. Do I really want to be that girl eating Chocolate eclairs in bed scared to watch a sappy movie because I could end up in tears any minute? Or do I want to be that fiercely independent, smoking hot, not a care in the world woman that I always dreamed of being.

Life has never, nor will ever be perfect. Bad things happen to good people. Diseases ravage innocent bodies. Earthquakes happen. Divorces happen to the most promising couples (on that note, God please help Will and Jada Smith, not break up, they're the success story of Hollywood couples)

Point is, we can't curl up in a ball and die at the first sign of trouble. More often than not, we go through pain and we come out on the other side better from it.

As much as I say this, I'm not looking forward to the pain at all...and the tears are there but they're just not coming out, and I'm sure they will at the worst moment, but I just have to keep reminding myself of...hehehe...Gilmore Girls. You remember that episode in Season 5, where Rory just broke up with Dean, the love of her life, heck the love of my life (he was so cute) moving on...Rory was excited and in love, and 2 seasons later she's crying on the bathroom floor. Such is love.

But look what happenned in Season 8, Rory found it totally worth it to get up from that bathroom floor...

Anyway, in other and much more cheery news, I am officially a Pinner...a pinterester...a pinterested person...anyway I am a memeber of Pinterest!!!! Can't wait to see what I find on there.

And on a final note, I may be the biggest idiot when it comes to life but I am the biggest genius on the face of the planet when it comes to work...lets just say I rocked today...ROCK STAR!!!

GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is just one of those days that I honestly feel like flipping off the entire planet, locking mysef in my apartment, turning up the stereo and forgetting that the rest of the world exist.

Considering I did just flip off a coworker, I need to vent!

So, I'm angry...GRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Sometimes it's easy to put yoursself in overwhelming situations, say yes to everyone and everything just for the sake of avoiding confrontation or because you feel it will make life easier at that particular moment in time.

For example, today I gave a cleaning lady at work money for a fund raising at her church, not that its a bad thing to be generous, but I dont know anything about what they were raising money for, and she said she'd give me a card worth the amount of money I gave her and that didnt happen either. She's just been following me since last week and giving her money was easier than avoiding her forever. That makes me angry.

I'm angry that my caretaker isn't installing my new instant hot water shower head like he was supposed to months ago and now I have to wake up half an hour earlier to warm up water for a bath.

I'm angry that people can blatantly take credit for work that I did, and not show any appreciation whatsoever when I've gone out of my way.

I'm angry that I have to do that stupid CPA Paper yet again.

I'm angry that I feel like I haven't slept in days.

I'm angry for life's complications, and that life isn't as easy as being able to get what you want when you want it*

I'm angry that I still miss my dad.

I'm angry that I live in a tiny apartment, and I'm starting to get claustrophobic.

I guess I've been angry at a lot of things for a while, but I've been reluctant to show anger toward anyone...or infront of anyone...but I'm thankful for this blog where at least I can come to vent, and ease off some of this pressure. Get in touch with my feelings and all that..I feel better now, not thaat much better, but whatever's left can hopefully be resolved by a hot bath (grrr!!! not shower!!!) and passion fruit yoghurt.

Thoughts

At the end of yet another exhausting work day, I got home to find a black out...this sucked for two reasons, firstly I had a couple of new DVDs I wanted to watch, and secondly, I was having one of those nights where you just dont want to be alone with your thoughts.

Alone with my thoughts I was and I'm happy because it gave me a chance to think a little and clear my head.

Life has just been sort of speeding past me and I'm living in the moment, which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but it's nice once in a while to step back and plan a little.

Some of the stuff I was sorting through my head were:

> school...I'm debating whether to sit for my CPA Papers this December or skip them all together and focus on my degree, especially considering final exams may clash and I might end up having to pick one over the other...

> work...my internship has been amazing so far, but its slowly but surely coming to an end, and I have to start planning for life after here. I love working and it's going to be tough goin back to not working, so I have to figure out if I want to do that or get another job, or whatever. Also, as long as I'm here I have to keep trying to be at the top of my game...figure out what my strengths and weaknesses have been.

> love...don't get me started....

Anyway, that's a little bit of what's been going on...

Thoughts

At the end of yet another exhausting work day, I got home to find a black out...this sucked for two reasons, firstly I had a couple of new DVDs I wanted to watch, and secondly, I was having one of those nights where you just dont want to be alone with your thoughts.

Alone with my thoughts I was and I'm happy because it gave me a chance to think a little and clear my head.

Life has just been sort of speeding past me and I'm living in the moment, which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but it's nice once in a while to step back and plan a little.

Some of the stuff I was sorting through my head were:

> school...I'm debating whether to sit for my CPA Papers this December or skip them all together and focus on my degree, especially considering final exams may clash and I might end up having to pick one over the other...

> work...my internship has been amazing so far, but its slowly but surely coming to an end, and I have to start planning for life after here. I love working and it's going to be tough goin back to not working, so I have to figure out if I want to do that or get another job, or whatever. Also, as long as I'm here I have to keep trying to be at the top of my game...figure out what my strengths and weaknesses have been.

> love...don't get me started....

Anyway, that's a little bit of what's been going on...

This One's For Mich

Here's one for Michelle.

My second year of High School, she was the new girl, who just happenned to be my new roomate. The first time I met her, I judged her as being one heck of a snob, and she knows this and she admits to being one. As time went by I tried to avoid her as much as possible, and she made friends of her own, and we lived paraallel lives. A few months later though, after a huge fight with one of my friends, she was there and talked me through it and I knew I had to be her friend.

Thus began the competition between my other roomate and I on who will be Michelle's best friend, and being the drama queen (like me) that she is, she loved it. But after a while, all three of us got to be really great friends...our friendship was LEGENDARY and I'm sure people are still talking about it.

When we got out of school, none of us had phones, and Michelle was very anti-facebook, so we lost touch for a couple of months, but when we found each other again...everything was as perfect as ever and we grew closer than before.

Skip ahead past all the boy drama, shopping trips, periods of silence, arguments, being fed up with each other, (mostly her of me), to two years ago when my dad died. I called up Michelle, and within an hour she was at my door...she dropped everything to be there for me. She stood by me as guests came and went, she held my hand, she got into an argument with my cousin because he stole my dads watch and wore it that day, she came with me to the funeral, all the way out of town in a stuffy squeezed car, when I finally broke down and cried she was there to catch me as I fell. She was amazing that day, and no matter what I do I can never repay her for that day.

Skip forward a couple of yeras, when I was stuck in the most horrible of horrible relationships and she was always there to lecture my then boyfriend and finally force me to end that naaaasty thing.

Anyway, there plenty more stories to come, and I can't wait to sip wine and watch our kids play together and our husbands burn the meat.

I love you bestie, you're more than my best friend, you're my sister and I wish you nothing but the best.