Today I woke up at 3 a.m and went on my computer to search for Misty Edwards speak about relevance. I had a mini panic-attack/nightmare just thinking about my life and all I'm doing and feeling like I'm living but I'm fading into oblivion. Or alive but waiting to die.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or suicidal, I'm just tired of the ordinary. I've dated and thought love could bring me fulfillment. I haven't found either love and fulfillment in any relationship other than God, so dating doesnt seem like the answer for me. I've followed in the footsteps of a lot of people and in the middle of that I have to ask myself, what about me? What about the path I want ot take? What IS the path I want to take?
Anyway, my mom got home tonight and we talked about it and she asked me the question I've waited someone to ask me forever.
"What is it you want to do?"
The answer came quick and easy. I want to work at Mavuno. I want to start a Church, I want to lead worship, I want to go to BSSM.
So she told me to apply.
I just did.
Now to wait for the weekend to tell my 3 contacts to send in their recommendations.
Here we go.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or suicidal, I'm just tired of the ordinary. I've dated and thought love could bring me fulfillment. I haven't found either love and fulfillment in any relationship other than God, so dating doesnt seem like the answer for me. I've followed in the footsteps of a lot of people and in the middle of that I have to ask myself, what about me? What about the path I want ot take? What IS the path I want to take?
Anyway, my mom got home tonight and we talked about it and she asked me the question I've waited someone to ask me forever.
"What is it you want to do?"
The answer came quick and easy. I want to work at Mavuno. I want to start a Church, I want to lead worship, I want to go to BSSM.
So she told me to apply.
I just did.
Now to wait for the weekend to tell my 3 contacts to send in their recommendations.
Here we go.
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